Ambrosia's Return
by Ihearbookscalling
Summary: Merlin has gone to the Isle of the Blessed to sacrifice her life for Arthur's but unexpected allies causes the past to return to tell the one thing King Uthur fears: the truth. Fem!Merlin and reveal. fem!Merlin/ Arthur in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: My first fan fiction so please be nice! Constructive ****criticism welcome. I sadly don't own Merlin.  
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><p><strong>Merlin's POV<strong>

It was exactly a year ago that I walked over the crest of the hill I was walking over now, the first time I caught a glance of the magnificent castle that is Camelot. Strangely poetic as this was my final journey and that was the first into my new life. My life with actual purpose and apparently that purpose was coming to an end.

I'd been so hopeful then as I'd walked into the centre courtyard only to have my hopes shattered when I saw an execution of one my own, somebody with magic. I remember first seeing the Lady Morgana- how beautiful she was and how eerily familiar. I could tell she took no pleasure from the bloodshed. Then there was Gaius who I accidently rescued using my magic-_oops_- he wasn't best pleased but let me stay with him for my mother's sake. I'm not sure at that point if Gaius knew my other secret... Meeting Prince Arthur was definitely not my finest hour due to the fact that I didn't know he was a prince and could throw me jail for trying to hit him...which I tried so he threw me in jail. After the stocks, a cryptic dragon, another fight with the prince and then a old lady singing whilst wielding a dagger later and I'd somehow managed to save the Prince Prat Arthur's life. My reward? Become prince Arthur's _man_servant of course! One small issue: I'm a woman.

So started what that bloody reptile called our destiny. Let's see there was Valiant and that living snakes shield he had, that was easy, all I had to do was show everybody that the snakes actually were alive, proving me right, and then throw Arthur a sword so he could kill the creatures and that creep Valiant. Actually I think Arthur fired me at some point. Then there was the plague which was just a few choice words mumbled at the opportune moment when Arthur wasn't paying attention. Then drinking poison for Arthur, _not_ something I'd do again in a hurry, and then unconsciously creating light for Arthur to escape Nimueh by, who incidentally caused the plague. Bit of cow really.

I killed a griffin. Lancelot actually helped kill it but found out my big secret in the process. Not the whole actually being female thing but the magic thing, he swore to keep it secret though and as he kind of banished himself I was pretty certain I could rely on him. I think he left poor Gwen heartbroken, she's a friend of mine who also serves as the Lady Morgana's maid and could possibly be the sweetest person in the world.

Then there was that bitch Sophia! Arthur was ready to elope with the simpering cow! Morgana, who I'm starting to think also has magic, said she didn't like her either so Gaius was wrong! It wasn't jealousy, she was actually a she who tried to drown him to get immortal life in Avalon. So... ha! Gaius, ha! I have no feelings for Arthur thank you very much but I did have to pull him up from the depths of Avalon after that incident and lug him all the way to shore.

Then Arthur's dead uncle came back and started challenging the Knights of Camelot so I had to do some major intervention there to stop Arthur dying by creating Excalibur, a sword forged in a dragon's breath. But it in the end saved Uthur. A shiver unconsciously goes up my spine at his name, he's Arthur's father and the reason for the purge against al magical people he would kill me in a heartbeat just for breathing. I can't help having magic, I was born with it and could move objects and was setting fire to harmless furniture before I was an hour old (bit of a shock for my mum). So anyway saved Uthur and the dragon wasn't exactly happy that I'd managed to save his captor with his help- so I had to chuck the sword into a lake, don't ask why that's just what the dragon said. I sometimes wonder if he makes things up as he goes just to watch me squirm.

Then I saw the unicorn, which has to be one of the best moments of my life, it was so pure and innocent. Until Arthur came along and shot it. Way to ruin the moment there Arthur! Anyway because he killed this beautiful and incredibly _magical_ creature he unleashed a curse upon the whole of Camelot. No food or water and the prat still wouldn't believe it was his doing. It took a few tests for him to realise the truth and that only made him moody and depressed. Eventually I manages to convince Anhora, the keeper of the unicorns, to give Arthur another chance. Which led to our seemingly final trip together, both of us trapped in the labyrinth of Gedref with the choice of two indistinguishable goblets. One with poison and one without.

As I leave the view of Camelot behind me I can't help but remember his face as he drunk poison willingly so I wouldn't have to- the care and the compassion. The last attempt at humour to disguise his fear of the next life. He'd survived though as the potion was merely a sleeping draft but as we rode back the atmosphere was awkward because we both knew now that Arthur genuinely cared for me. It was then that I realised I had developed more than platonic feelings for Arthur, feelings that I'd kept hidden for a long time trying to save myself the pain of loving somebody who could never be mine. Who didn't even know I was a woman! At first I thought he was a prat, a selfish arrogant man who cared nothing for his people but then I saw underneath the facade and saw the heart of a man striving to help others while finding himself along the way. I really hoped I helped with that journey in some small way.

That was why I was on this journey now- I couldn't let him die from the poison of the questing beast- the only way to save a life was by exchange and I now knew that that pain in the arse dragon was right. It was my destiny to protect him because I loved him and anyone who knows me knows that I would do anything for the people I care about. Including die for them.

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><p><strong>Nimueh's POV<strong>

I had to admit that I didn't expect to see the young witch arrive on my shore and now from a distance I took a chance to just observe her. Underneath the spell of concealment she was using I could see a beautiful face, although the spell was strong so I couldn't see very clearly and although she was skinny I could see some proof of feminine figure around the hips even if her chest was bound. The enigma of the girl was truly baffling, she didn't seem to want power but positively excreted potential, she also wanted to protect a Pendragon (although this may because the prince is quite handsome) despite the fact he would kill her if he ever knew the truth. But then there was my new found knowledge of her- she was Emrys- which made her truly special yet still untrained. With the right guidance she could become more advanced than me in only a few years! I was suddenly very glad that the girl only had potential for that still gave me the upper hand, something that I was quite used to and not willing to give up, nether the less this would be interesting...

She'd reached the centre of the isle so I decided to reveal myself. "Hello, Merlin. Still keeping up your disguise I see."

A spasm of fear passed across her face when she say it was me who she had come to meet however the emotion was quickly masked. "So are you, Nimueh. You must be only a few years younger than my mother and yet you only look in your twenties. Is it a special cream that you've been using?"

I saw her smirk a little at her own wit and I resisted the urge to slap the brat in the face. "Magic, Merlin. The kind you could learn under my tutelage and away from the betrayer Gaius."

Her face morphed comically into anger and I had to hold back my grin at seeing the great Emrys riled up. "Don't you dare insult Gaius! I would never join you in your evil, you old witch!"

Again suppressing a grin, I replied casually. "If you want what you came for I suggest you refrain from insulting me, Merlin. Or don't you want to save your lover's life?" She blushed a brilliant shade of red at my words and a tiny grin did manage to escape me.

After a pathetic bout of indistinguishable spluttering she finally answered me haughtily (so haughty that even I was impressed). "Well now I see whose here it appears I've had a wasted journey. You've tried to kill both me and Arthur many times. I see no reason for you to change your mind now."

Silently, I swept dramatically over to the altar, turning my back on her as I did but I could still feel her eyes bore into me. I admit I resisted the urge to shiver. "That was before I realised your importance, _Emrys_," I highlighted her druid name for effect and saw her eyebrows rise. "I saw merely a betrayer witch protecting a worthless Pendragon brat. But there is more, Merlin, to your story that even you know, for I have seen the future you will bring." It then began to rain and the water went into the cup of life which I was holding, turning I showed it to her. "Take the water from the Cup of Life and it will cure Arthur of his wound."

Merlin's eyes widened and I could feel the hesitation radiating from her. "What about the sacrifice?"

Surprisingly a small, sad smile flew to my lips and I saw the girl's shocked face at my apparent kindness. "Oh Merlin, do you really believe that the Golden Age can come whilst still walk the Earth? I am tired Merlin. I have been fighting a losing battle for years and lost many of my kin. You, of all people, have given me hope for the end of Uthur's reign. I will gladly give my life, like so many of our kin have to ensure that you and Arthur fulfil your destiny. By my death you will not only save Arthur's life but hundreds of our kind to."

Merlin had taken a step back and I really couldn't blame her. "No, Nimueh, it s my destiny to protect Arthur!"

"But not your destiny to die for him." I told her, simply taking a flask from my robes and filling it with water from the cup and handed it to her, pushing it into her hand. "When the prince is saved the transaction shall be complete and I shall die. I do not fear death Merlin. I was the cause for this war and in my death I shall lead to its end."

Merlin still looked at me shocked yet after a moment pulled me into a hug and I could feel warm wet tears soak my shoulder. It had been so long since I had been touched in such a friendly way as this that I froze and was unresponsive. Slowly I moved my arms around her and made soothing noises in her ear I an attempt to calm her. When she appeared to have quieted I whispered into her ear. "You must go now Merlin. The prince's strength is waning."

The young girl drew away from me and smiled, a mixture of sadness, joy and love in her eyes. "Thank you Nimueh, when the time is right I shall make your sacrifice known to the whole of Camelot. And I will never forget what you have done for me, you are truly m kin in Nimueh."

I hadn't been acknowledged by somebody as kin in a long time and I felt happiness well up inside of me, kissing the girl's forehead, I whispered again. "Go Merlin, take time with your loved ones and don't miss a single second of their company. Arthur needs you now."

Nodding and pulling away from me, Merlin bowed low as a sign of respect for the High Priestess that I was ad I smiled a watery smile as I remembered happier times and the visions of what I'd seen to come. In return I bowed to her as well. "Good luck, Emrys, I hope to see you in the next life."

Tears were streaking down her face as well as she smiled gently at me and then walked slowly back to the raft that would take her back to shore, just as she reached it she called. "Goodbye Nimueh."

I smiled weakly and replied in hushed tones but I knew she heard me. "Goodbye Merlin..."

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading and please review!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for reading and please review. I wish I owned Merlin but I'm not the BBC.**

**Gaius' POV**

When Merlin came hurtling through my door with tear tracks staining her face I felt my stomach drop and I couldn't help but grab her and shake her. "What have you done? Whose life did you sacrifice?"

The look in her eyes was one I'd never seen before but there was also a steely undertone of determination. I knew whatever she was dong she was not going to back down no matter what I said but that didn't mean I wouldn't try. "It's not your destiny to die now Merlin!"

"I know." She replied quietly, averting her eyes from mine, the boyish face disguise was paler than normal but I knew she was telling the truth. She hadn't sacrificed her own life... "The person who met there sacrificed their own life for Arthur's so that Albion can happen."

I heard her not so subtly avoid giving any clues as to who this person is but I decided to let this drop for the moment and pulled away from the evidently distressed girl. "Well then, let's take this to Arthur before it's too late." With that I followed her running swiftly out of the room, her desperation and grief were palpable but there was a sort of determined hope underneath it all which gave me hope as well for the young prince.

**Nimueh's POV**

I felt the water from the cup touch his lips as if they were my own, I gasped one more breath into my empty lungs and then felt myself sink into darkness.

Everything was white, so much so that it was almost blinding. I looked around lost and unsure until I felt a tiny hand grasp my own. It had been many years since I'd seen that face but I would never forget the curly straw blond hair and the piercing blue eyes that are so like mine. He pulled me gently to say that I should follow and I did. But I glanced once more into my basin at Camelot and saw Merlin grinning wildly at the now conscious prince. _I wonder when he'll realise she's a girl? _I mused as I allowed myself to be led into the afterlife by my son.

**Arthur's POV**

Merlin seemed unreasonably happy at me being alive and looked close to hugging me. In fact I think the only reason he refrained was the fact my father was in the room and he probably wouldn't be happy if I was friends with a peasant. Not that I was and Merlin is having ideas way beyond his station to even think about hugging me and he'd been weirdly nicer to me since the business with the unicorn. Maybe I should give him more chores...

Just as I was contemplating what truly horrendous chores I could give the big eared idiot, another servant arrived from my father calling me to the throne room. This was the big celebration which was to celebrate me still being among the living and I couldn't help thinking that they'd gone a bit over board. They'd even called Merlin away to help with the preparations which was a relief because I really didn't want an emotional conversation with him but still annoying that I didn't have him around to boss and banter with.

Reluctantly I walked with this servant (Morris...?) to the throne room and through the thick heavy door I could hear my father commend Gaius for saving me and then the doors were dramatically thrown open to reveal me. I barely restrained an eye roll (which I'm sure is a habit I've picked up from Merlin) and walked with as much dignity and pride as I could muster into a walk. From Merlin's amused looks at my antics I could tell he found my walk funny and he was whispering to Morgana's maid (Gwinn...?). The scowl I was barely restraining caused Merlin to laugh a bit more with his little girlfriend. Well I'd get my own back later when I brought up that serving girl, Merlin had an odd aversion about talking about his romantic life. Although I strongly believe this is because he hasn't got one but from the look that maid was giving him I think he may be about to. I was cut off from my musings when I finally reached my father, he clasped me on the shoulder in a way to say well done for not dying. Part of me felt that Gaius should be getting all the credit here but a larger part of me was just happy that my father was pleased with me for once!

I admit that I tuned out most of the rest of my father's speech and decided instead to look among those in the hall all looking at my father with unwavering concentration but then I felt a gust of wind ruffle my hair and I turned to the door and saw a hooded figure standing still in the doorway.

Even without the freak gust of wind it was obvious this person had magic from their stance and the eerie glow that seemed to radiate form them. I reached for my sword but realised I hadn't attached into my belt, I cursed under my breath and touched my father's shoulder and pointed at the mysterious figure.

My father stopped and froze. Everybody turned to see what had caught his eye and the figure stopped moving. Then slowly lifted her hood to reveal a beautiful woman hidden underneath and she stared coldly at the King who reeled back in shock. "Ambrosia...?!"

**Ambrosia's POV**

When I felt it return I felt whole again. I felt it swell inside of me and over take me after twenty years of being trapped within my body and objects began swirling around me wildly and I felt a mad burst of energy as I stood and headed to the one place that I needed to go: Camelot.

The journey was a simple click of the fingers and a few muttered words and I found myself standing outside the familiar massive doors that led into the throne room. With a few more words and a gust of wind more magic exploded out of me and blew open the doors in a melodramatic way and I couldn't help stifle grin as I kept my head down and headed towards the king. Only the younger Pendragon noticed me and I saw him move for his sword only to find it wasn't there. Then he got Uthur's attention and I felt the King's eyes land on me and in one swift movement I took off the hood to reveal my face.

His shock was obvious and I saw Gaius look equally surprised at my appearance but it was the King who choked out my name. "Ambrosia...?!" I rejoiced in hearing my name again after all this time and this time I made no attempt to hide my grin.

"Yes, Uthur, I'm back and I'm here to tell the truth."

**Uthur's POV**

I fell back against my throne and was unsure how to get up again. This woman who stood before the court grinning was supposed to be dead or at least as good as. Anger welled up inside of me and I called harshly for the guards.

"Don't bother, Uthur." She had the cheek to roll her eyes at her king. "Your guards could never take me even if I didn't use my magic."

I knew she was right and I put a hand out to halt the guards, then I scowled at her. "You're supposed to be dead."

Arthur was looking between me and the witch with confusion written all over his face at me not immediately arresting this woman who was so clearly magical. But he didn't understand this was Ambrosia. We had a history.

"I was as good as, old friend."

"Why now?" I spat. "Why here on a day of celebration?"

"Because," she replied with something akin to sorrow in her voice. "the witch Nimueh is dead and I am free."

"Nimueh? Dead?!" The whole court we're shocked and confused by this whole interaction but I didn't care anymore; I had to know.

"Yes but not by my hand."

Before she could go any further another voice gasped in shock. "Mum?!" I turned to see Arthur's useless servant (Marlin...?) stare at Ambrosia in shock, horror and oddly anger.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites! **

**Merlin's POV**

I'd slipped out during Uthur's speeches and walked around the corridors to stretch my legs. I knew pretty well that later I'd be trapped inside the Grand hall only moving when Arthur's goblet runs dry so I decided to take the chance of freedom now before the boredom of the monotonous evening came.

When I approached the throne room again I heard a woman's voice, which meant that if other people were giving speeches the feast would soon begin. I slipped noiselessly through the door and went to join Gwen but then I recognised the woman's voice. "Mum?!"

The whole court looked at me shocked but I only had eyes for one woman. She sounded like my mother. She looked like my mother. And the presence was my mother's. Only problem is that my mother doesn't have magic and even if she did she'd have told me about it and wouldn't have hidden this from me. She wouldn't have allowed me to be alone not understanding who I was.

Before I could apologise for my mistake my-not-mother spoke eyes glued on me, "Hello Merlin." The small sad smile was all I needed to realise I was right: this was my mother.

Anger such as I had never felt before swelled up inside of me. "You lied to me!" I screamed and I felt the widows shake with me in my anger. "All these years!" Tears were now rolling down my cheeks freely but I made no attempt to wipe them away.

"Merlin, what the hell is going on?" This came from Arthur, who was looking at me caught somewhere between appalled and confused. "Is this really your mother?"

"No!" I spat ferociously. "This woman is not my mother."

"Merlin." The woman spoke calmly but there was a slight steel to her voice. "I understand-"

But I interrupted her. "How could you ever understand?! I don't even know you anymore!"

I felt Gaius' hand on my shoulder and then his calming voice. "Merlin, let your mother explain."

Before I could reply cuttingly to Gaius' 'wisdom' the king interrupted. "You knew about this Gaius? You knew that Ambrosia was still alive?"

That brought up another wave of fresh anger to the surface. "Hunith is not even your real name! You lied to me about everything!" I yanked myself from Gaius' grip and walked in front of the woman I didn't recognise anymore. "I don't trust you anymore. I never will again." With that I yanked off the necklace she'd given me and threw it at her feet. "I won't lie anymore about who I am. I'm not you."

**Arthur's POV**

When Merlin had first claimed the witch Ambrosia as his mother I thought he was merely confused but then when the witch had spoken to him I'd had my doubts. When he started screaming I knew that she actually was his mother and apparently she'd never told him that she was a witch. I felt anger and pity build up inside me for Merlin's sake and I was glad when he renounced her- it would make a pardon easier.

Then the necklace hit the floor and things went a little crazy...

Gaius cried out. "Merlin!"

Ambrosia dropped her cool facade and became angry. "Merlin! Do you have a death wish?"

At first I had no idea what they were so worried about-it was just a necklace after all- but then a blue light seemed to surround Merlin and I had to turn away so that I wasn't blinded. When I looked back I saw Merlin was gone and a slightly smaller curvier figure with long inky black hair trailing down her back was standing in his place.

Gaius groaned very loudly. "Merlin... Will you ever learn?"

The girl turned and I saw her face. She was beautiful, with elfin like features yet there was a strong defiance marked in her face which made her look almost wild. But her blue eyes were what struck me- bright blue orbs that shone and seemed to hold both wisdom and naivety- they were exactly the same as Merlin's eyes. "I am not my mother's daughter. I will not lie to those I claim to care about."

The voice was undeniably Merlin's but higher and I took several steps back in shock. Obviously seeing my distress she walked over to me and met my eyes unwavering. "I'm sorry Arthur but apologies will have to wait until later. I have a bad mother to deal with."

Then she turned back to face her mother again. "18 years you lied to me! You left me all alone struggling with a power that I couldn't control since I was a babe in your arms! Didn't you feel some kind of loyalty to your own child? Some kind of mercy perhaps?" I stared at Merlin wondering if she meant what I thought she meant. "You knew who I was didn't you?" This I really didn't understand what this meant though I mean surely a mother would know who their daughter was.

But the witch seemed to understand. "Yes I knew you were Emrys." She'd whispered it but in the huge all it echoed so that everybody heard and a few people gasped in shock and looked at Merlin awe evident in their eyes.

My father finally seemed to come to his senses at this. "Who is Emrys?"

Neither Merlin or her mother seemed likely to reply since they were staring each other down so Gaius took the mantle. "Emrys is known in the druid prophecies to be the salvation of magic. Emrys is the most powerful magical being to ever and will ever live." His eyes averted to Merlin who'd since broke the staring match with her mother and was now looking at me. A worried expression drawn on her beautiful face. _No_, I reprimanded myself sharply, _stop thinking Merlin as beautiful_.

My father's face contorted in anger and fear. "You kept all this from me for years, physician? I trusted you with my own and all the citizen's of Camelot lives and you would betray both me and them by harbouring a dangerous sorceress amongst us. Allowed her to become my son's personal servant and never said a word. How dare you! Guards arrest the physician and the brat Merlin!"

Nobody moved an inch and I felt relief surround me as Merlin turned to my father and curtsied but I could tell form the tilt of her head it was mockingly. "I'm so sorry for existing, my lord, next time I shall be more careful."

I had to admire her courage going against my father like that but the slap that resounded through the hall was unsurprising. However it was not my father's hand that had struck Merlin's cheek but Ambrosia's hand that had slapped my father's.

**Ambrosia's POV**

So things hadn't exactly gone to plan, I hadn't wanted Merlin to find out like this, although I probably should've known she'd be here as this is her place of work... But when Uthur had gone to slap her I couldn't allow that.

"Don't you dare touch, my daughter! If you have even a shed of conscience left you will be a good little king and sit on your throne and listen!" Part of me was amused by the looks on everybody's faces at how I'd addressed the king but I was too concerned about keeping my fierce expression up to laugh at their comical expressions.

Uthur thankfully just slumped back on his throne and waved a lazy hand for me to continue. "Go on, say what you came to say, Ambrosia and then take your brat and leave."

I smiled ruefully at the king but Arthur Pendragon seemed angered by his father's submission. "Father! How can you allow this sorceress talk to you like this?"

"Guilt, Arthur Pendragon. It's a very powerful weapon." Arthur seemed puzzled but Uthur sat up straighter on his thrown.

He seemed to have only just realised that the whole court was assembled and barked out in harsh voice. "The court need not be assembled for this! You are all dismissed."

"Arthur and Gaius should be present Uthur. They have a right to know."

Uthur actually scowled at me then and then spat at my feet. "Fine! But the rest of you out!"

**Morgana's POV**

I was beyond shocked at the way events had turned and was very reluctant to leave with the rest of the court. However it was clear that the history between Uthur and Ambrosia was one best kept private. So private that not even the King's beloved ward was privy. So it was reluctantly that I left the throne room, that was until I heard my name being called softly. "Morgana, stay please." It was the witch Ambrosia, the look she was giving me shocked and at the same time convinced me to trust her.

I nodded and walked back into the room properly so I could observe all the occupants. Uthur was sitting on his thrown, his stance taut and wary. Arthur stood to his left and seemed to be caught between standing with his father or going to Merlin's side. The _girl_ (_that_ was a surprise)herself had moved to the side and was staring at the floor as if she wanted it to swallow her up and I really couldn't blame the poor girl. Observing Merlin in her true form I realise that she was beautiful in a pixie sort of way, and she could only have been a few years younger than me if that. So she was probably a woman. Gaius was standing opposite her and seemed, like me, to be hanging back unsure of where he fit into this discussion. But I could see his eyebrow was permanently raised, as if studying a particularly hard problem. Finally there was Ambrosia, who looked most comfortable in this incredibly awkward situation. She too was beautiful but in a more common way than Merlin who seemed to be other worldly, she had kind blue eyes and a sweet smile on her face when she noticed I was looking at her. I quickly looked away and instead went over to Merlin and put a hand on her shoulder to comfort the poor girl who I noticed was close to crying. Then I looked up to Ambrosia and waited for her to tell her story.

**I swear the stories going to come out soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Two in one day! I hope you like it.**

**Arthur's POV**

"Does Morgana really need to be here?" I barked at this witch. I had a feeling this would not be a good story and that the less people who knew the better.

Ambrosia frowned at me. "Morgana needs to be here, for she is part of the story too." Morgana looked shocked to be told this but father merely grunted his assent so I bit back my retort and waited to hear whatever story the woman was going to spin.

Ambrosia cleared her throat. "Twenty six ears I was made High Sorceress of Camelot and was married to a knight in Uthur's army, Myrddin. A year later I had two children, twins, but my husband died in battle-"

Merlin's head had snapped up and I could see tears falling down her face, I held back the urge to run to her and comfort her in her pain. "You never told me I had siblings!"

Ambrosia sighed deeply. "I couldn't Merlin. Not without the whole story. Which is what I'm telling you now. A couple of years afterwards Uthur married Ygraine and the High Priestess Nimueh came to Camelot to get a position in the court. A year after that they were taken away to be trained and I haven't seen either of them since." A tear rolled down her cheek but she collected herself and continued. "I was lonely and in that time became closer to the Pendragon family, Uthur and Ygraine were desperate for a child but could not conceive so begged me to use my power to give them a son. However I knew the price and would not allow it."

"Hang on, then how was I born?" I couldn't help asking.

"Hush Arthur and all shall be revealed. I would never allow such magic to be used. Nothing good ever comes of it. However Uthur didn't see it that way and grew frustrated both in his childless marriage and with me for not relenting-"

"Don't you dare pretend to have knowledge of my feelings, Sorceress! I had other reasons for doing what I did!" Father shrieked and I took a step away from him. My father , the all powerful king, looked deranged.

Ambrosia however looked perfectly calm. "How could there be a reason for raping a widow who'd just lost her two children?" I gasped and looked at my father, this I had not been expecting. Merlin looked like she was about to throw up and I saw Morgana pull her into a hug and comfort her. "I ran away to my sister's and there it became evident that I was with child. Meanwhile in Camelot in my absence the witch Nimueh made a deal with Uthur- the position of High Sorceress for an heir." I felt the colour drain form my face and I walked further away from my father and towards Gaius, who was the only person (apart from Morgana) in the room who I was still sure I could trust. Ambrosia continued her story. "Arthur was conceived only a month after my own child. I gave birth to the child prematurely and gave the little girl to my sister to protect, as soon as I'd gathered my strength I was to head back to Camelot to confront both Uthur and Nimueh. However Nimueh got to me first. She cursed me in my weakened state after childbirth so that I could no longer use magic or speak magic. It was so that she would be uncontested in Camelot for the position as High Sorceress." Ambrosia took a deep, shuddering breath and I felt dread build within me. "But I still went to Camelot anyway to try and convince the King that he shouldn't mess with this type of magic, I thought that maybe he'd listen to me out of guilt for his crime against me." I snorted in disbelief and all eyes fell on me, Ambrosia smiled weakly at me. "Well safe to say he didn't. Without my magic I was nothing to him and in fact I knew too much so he threw me into the dungeons. Gaius and the Dragon Lord Balinor were my only visitors, I had always been friendly with Balinor and we grew closer over the rest of Ygraines' pregnancy when he came to visit me."

"That bastard Balinor!" My father cursed angrily.

"Don't you dare insult Balinor like that! He actually loved me!" Ambrosia's anger shook the windows slightly and walked over to her and touched her arm reassuringly. Or what I hoped in a way that was reassuring...

Father was still angry and now stood up and pointed violently at Merlin, who was still hugging Morgana fiercely. "Is that witch Balinor's spawn?!"

"No, she's his daughter." Ambrosia replied coldly. "Our daughter. Anyway that time only lasted until the time when Ygraine gave birth. Uthur finally realised what I'd been telling him all along: for a life to be given a life must be taken. Ygraine's life was the forfeit for your birth Arthur." I looked at her eyes wide and in those pale blue eyes I saw only truth.

I fell back as if having been hit by an actual blow and I looked at my father horrified by all the things he'd done and all the people he'd hurt. Crimes that were inexcusable! Rape, murder and imprisoning an innocent, defenceless woman. These were not the acts of an honourable man- no these were the acts of a coward. I felt two thin arms wrap around me and I saw Merlin's beautiful eyes gazing into mine. She was the only one who could understand my pain, understand the pain of suddenly finding out your parent had been lying to you your entire life. I clung to her as well and we stood there waiting for one of our parents to speak.

**Gaius' POV**

I watched the prince and the witch cling to eachother and a small spark of hope flew through my body. They both needed time to heal but they needed to hear the full story before the day ended, these words had taken long enough to be said. Morgana deserved the truth as well. So I spoke for the first time since the start. "Ambrosia please continue, they need to know. All of them need to know."

Ambrosia nodded and continued. "When the price of the magic was Ygraine's life, Uthur decided to start a war on magic in revenge for the loss of his wife. Balinor broke me out of prison and we ran away together to Ealdor. We spent nearly a year together before the news of the war reached us and Balinor left to fight for magic. He didn't know I was pregnant and I have never found out if he survived the war." I shuddered when I remembered Balinor's last stand as the final Dragon lord.

Uthur must also be remembering because a wide, manic smile appeared on his face. "Balinor was slaughtered, with the rest of his filthy people!"

"The Dragon Lords were a noble and mighty race and you killed all of them and the dragons. For the sin of killing creatures so purely magical you shall burn in hell." I recognised the forced calm in Ambrosia's voice and there was a slight waver to it as she continued. "Without my magic I was safe from Uthur who would've otherwise killed me, and for that I must be grateful to Nimueh. However again I realised I was with child and then eighteen years ago Merlin was born. Everybody with magic trembled at her birth and within the first moments of opening her eyes she could perform feats of magic that would take an ordinary student of magic years to properly master." I saw Arthur's eyes widen in shock at the girl he held in his arms but he wisely kept his mouth shut. "While Ealdor is not within Camelot's borders they still frown upon magic so Merlin had to be hidden. As her powers grew I could do nothing to teach her or guide her because of the curse, so I had no way of helping the only one of my children actually raised. I couldn't let her go yet so I selfishly kept her close to me however when she was sixteen her magic was out of control so I sent her to Gaius here. I knew Gaius would help me and Merlin and he did." For the first time since she'd begun her story she moved.

I remembered her elegant movements and the ready smile that Merlin had seemed to inherit and embraced her warmly. "It is the least I could do for you Ambrosia. I was a coward back then to leave you in those cells."

"Forgiven Gaius and forgotten." She smiled warmly at me and I felt the guilt at the death of so many innocents lessen slightly at seeing Ambrosia smile like that again.

**Arthur's POV**

I stood cradling Merlin's body in my arms and I wasn't entirely uncomfortable with the situation. In fact I was enjoying holding onto her whilst everything I knew about my life crumbled, she made me feel safe even after all the lies I couldn't help trusting her. Pathetic I know but she is the only one who can understand what I'm going through right now.

Gaius cleared his throat and spoke in an unusually commanding way. "One of you needs to tell Morgana the truth. It has been too long and she has a right!"

I looked at Morgana questioningly but she seemed unsure as well. Ambrosia turned and faced Morgana. "The child that Uthur and I had was a little girl who I gave to my sister Vivienne. I only had one request: her name was to be Morgana."


	5. Chapter 5

**Please review and tell me what you think. If I'm honest I'm not entirely pleased with this so would love to hear some feed back!**

**Merlin's POV**

Nobody moved an inch. That's what unsettled me most- not the fact that Morgana was my half-sister. Uthur seemed frozen as if this last secret had ripped out his soul (although it's debatable as to whether he ever had one), and Gaius seemed relieved but still wary about our reactions. My mother just looked hopefully at Morgana who in turn looked shocked.

I reluctantly tore myself out of Arthur's grip and went over to the older girl. "Hey big sister."

Tears threatened to over spill out of her beautiful jade eyes but she managed to choke out. "Hey little sister." We stared at eachother as if sizing eachother up and then fell into each other's arms. "I don't know what it is to have a sister. I've been alone since I was eight."

I smiled into her shoulder. "Are you kidding? I've only ever had my mother and Will. I've got no clue but I'm going to help you with your powers Morgana."

Her grip tightened around me so that it was almost suffocating but I relished it. "Aren't as I as the eldest meant to teach you." There was a slight laugh in her voice and I saw heard the similarity between her laugh and mine, the thought that I was similar to my new found sister warmed my heart.

Arthur stepped forward and I released Morgana so that she and Arthur could talk. "Your my sister?"

"It seems so." Morgana was looking at Arthur as if trying to reconcile the fact that they were related.

Arthur shifted awkwardly and I had to shove a hand in my mouth to stop myself from laughing at the prince's unusual unease. "Well you always were an annoying sister to me."

A frown creased Morgana's beautiful face and then she mock pouted but before she could say anything I flung my arms around both their necks and pulled them into a three way hug. They both tensed and seemed a bit awkward but after a while they relaxed and soon we were supporting eachother.

Gaius coughed as if to remind us that there were other people in the room and we quickly released eachother. I could see my mother had tears flowing unrestrained down her pale cheeks and her eyes were sparkling with joy, however I didn't trust her yet. She'd still betrayed me and lied to me for my entire life. She'd watched me suffering when she must have surely been able to do something and as much as I was thrilled to have a new half sister she'd never told me about my half siblings.

Uthur was still slumped on his throne and Gaius had gone over to him to check that he was fine but I couldn't make myself care. This monster was the reason that I'd been raised without a father, had never even met him or heard his name until today! The anger and resentment built up inside of me and demanded release and my magic responded. All the windows suddenly imploded and everybody ducked down terrified, even my own mother.

"How could you three let us live with the lies for so long!? How could you who claim to care about us never tell us about eachother?! Me and Morgana were scared of ourselves and needed help! If one of you had told us about our relationship we could have helped eachother."

My magic screamed again from inside of me and this time the doors flew off their hinges to reveal a puzzled and curious court. "Your all filthy hypocritical liars and I hate you!"

"Merlin you need to calm down-"

"Don't tell me to bloody calm down, Gaius! You're as guilty as these two! Morgana, Arthur and I deserved the truth from the beginning. We didn't deserve the lies that you all fed us and-" I broke off here as the sobs threatened to over whelm me.

**Arthur's POV**

I saw Merlin crumble and I reached out and brought her back into my arms. She fitted perfectly and I could feel the magic frantically buzzing through her veins. Part of me was horrified by the raw power that was coming off her but part of me found it addictive and wanted to absorb it and relish in it.

I saw Morgana come on the other side of Merlin and grasping her elbow supportively. "Merlin's right. We all deserved the truth a long time ago. Now if you don't mind we are going to go to my chambers because I don't think any of us can stand to look at the people who lied to us all our lives."

Morgana tugged Merlin's arms which brought me into action and gently I guided Merlin out of the throne room after Morgana who parted the sea of courtiers like the red sea. I kept Merlin's body in my grip in an attempt to shield her from the curious looks of the crowd. People were wise enough not to attempt to follow us because I think they know that Morgana would be likely to chop off various body parts if they did and at the moment I wasn't completely adverse to it.

Once we were in the pretty much deserted corridors Morgana returned to Merlin's side and whispered softly. "Merlin, are you alright?"

Merlin's head lifted from my chest and I couldn't help the twinge in my gut as my chest felt cold without her there. "I'm sorry. I don't often lose control like that but..." She trailed off and looked up at me as if waiting for me to yell or punish her. Another stab of some unknown feeling went through my body. "I'm sorry Arthur. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to lie but I thought you'd kill me and I didn't want to die. I don't want you to hate me!"

All I did was squeezed her closer to my body and murmured softly into her hair. "I understand Merlin and I could never hate you. I don't like magic I admit, but from what I've seen of my father today you don't need magic to horrible things. And I could never see you as evil no matter how many windows you smash!"

Merlin giggled weakly into my chest and Morgana beamed at me , which nearly knocked me over. I mean seriously I've never seen Morgana look at me with actual respect or pride. It was quite alarming really.

The rest of the journey continued in amiable silence apart from the occasional sniffle from Merlin. It gave me a chance to really think about all the things that had just been revealed. So Morgana was my sister, well that wouldn't really change much, we'd always had a more sibling relationship. We'd just have to stop the casual flirting...wait! My father let us flirt! Urgh, that's disgusting! What kind of father allows his children to flirt with eachother, at least that's as far as it went! Merlin had magic and was also a girl. A very attractive girl at that who was at this moment burying herself into my chest. It was taking a considerable amount of effort not to kiss her senseless. Which was ridiculous because an this morning she'd been my useless manservant who I rarely admitted I was friends with let alone had any romantic interest in. Although that was when she was a man and now she was a woman, and a very well endowed woman at that. The fact that she had magic didn't alarm me as much now as it had at first because I meant what I said earlier: today I'd seen that you don't have to be magical to do awful things so it probably works vice versa. Plus I couldn't even try to make myself believe that the girl in my arms was evil- she'd even saved my life a few times- and apparently Morgana had magic as well and I'd known her for so long that I knew she wasn't evil.

As for the other issues surrounding my parents I didn't even want to think about, not now, now I wanted to just be with the two women next to me who I knew despite the lies would always care and protect me. All I wanted was for us to get through today and then we'd deal with tomorrow when it came.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming! This is kind of a calm before the storm chapter for the three of them but I promise they'll be more confrontation about the whole 'new-family-members-plus-secret-magic' thing.**

**Morgana's POV**

We finally reached my chambers without any of us collapsing or blowing anything else up and I was relieved because with the mood I was in that was entirely possible. Merlin and Arthur were still clutching each other for dear life and my match making mind couldn't help thinking how adorable that would be. I'd never seen Arthur so emotional before or sustain close contact with somebody for so long. Arthur has always been reluctant to admit he actually has emotions and Uthur had always taught him to be detached and cold. I was happy for both of them but couldn't help feeling a stab of envy as I opened the door into my chambers.

I noticed that Gwen wasn't here and as much as I love her I couldn't help but be thankful that we didn't have to deal with anybody else. I turned to the other two- my new half siblings. They had actually separated now and Arthur was sitting down at my table idly flicking through one of the books I had out. In contrast Merlin seemed awkward as if unsure as to how she should behave. "Merlin, relax. We're in my chambers and your my sister. I want you to consider it your home as well." She cracked a small smile and seemed to relax a fraction. "And as my sister I can hardly let you walk around in boys clothing looking about as feminine as a hay stack!" I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to my wardrobe. "Well you look thinner than me but I think that maybe the bindings on your chest." She blushed a brilliant shade of red.

"Morgana, I can't take any of your gowns!"

"Nonsense! Until you get your own you can borrow mine. I rarely wear some of them anyway."

She frowned and I couldn't help thinking she looked adorable. "Why would I need my own gowns?"

Arthur snorted at this and we both turned and glared at him. He put his hands up in surrender. "Merlin, only you could think that today's events haven't changed your position in the court!"

"Huh?"

"Merlin you have just been revealed to be the daughter of a Dragonlord which was once equal to a lord and you now have me as your half sister. Do you really think that you can continue to be a servant?" Merlin looked bewildered and I nearly laughed with Arthur at her naivety. Then a positively evil thought occurred to me and I turned back to the wardrobe. "And Arthur may as well have announced to the whole court that you two were courting from the intimate way he was holding you."

The effect was immediate. Arthur spluttered and couldn't seem to form coherent sentences and Merlin looked stunned but did manage to come out with: "But I've seen him naked!"

I burst into laughter at this and soon Merlin was joining me whilst Arthur's face drained of colour. The two of us were practically in tears on the floor when we finally sobered up, Arthur giving us a glare that was torn between disapproval and shock which made Merlin laugh even more which in turn started me off again. When we couldn't breathe for laughing we tried again to stop and I walked back over to the wardrobe taking out a couple of dresses but we caught each other's eyes and burst into laughter again.

Finally I managed to shoo her behind the dressing screen with a couple of my dresses, she needed help and I helped lace her and then took a step back, grinning wildly at my little baby sister who looked great. Then I brushed her dark hair, that was so like mine, so that it hung loosely and neatly down her back. A slight dab of make up to high light those beautiful blue eyes of hers and she looked fantastic- now time to reveal her to Arthur.

** Arthur's POV**

How long does it take to put on a dress? I swear they've been behind that screen giggling like maniacs for at least an hour maybe more. Morgana's books were boring to, all romance novels about true love and even though I was bored to death I wasn't willing to surrender my masculinity that much. What Morgana had said about what the court had seen though was true- me and Merlin had been very intimate together and would now be seen to be courting. Although I hadn't planned this or even thought about the notion I couldn't say that I was unhappy with the idea. Although remembering that Merlin had seen me naked was a shock. Despite my playboy image I'd never bedded anyone and no woman had ever seen me naked (unless you count the midwives when I was born). All in all it was an unsettling thought. However in Morgana's chambers I felt comfortable. It felt as if the three of us had just sealed ourselves off from the outside world and all that mattered was how amazing Merlin could look in Morgana's dresses. That's what I needed, I was emotionally exhausted and even though this dresses talk wasn't exactly my forte it wasn't deep or meaningful and didn't confront the issues that were waiting for us outside this room. One of which was the fact that Merlin had performed magic in front of the whole of Camelot- would this mean she would be banished or worse executed. Also what the hell were we going to do with Ambrosia? Even if Merlin by some miracle was allowed to stay Ambrosia definitely wouldn't. I shook my head jerkily. _Stop thinking! Relax in this peace before you have to deal with all these problems. Enjoy your time with Merlin while you still have some!_

"Are you ready yet?" I called over towards the screen.

Morgana's head poked out one side and grinned at me . "Nearly. Prince Prat!"

"Hey! You've been spending too much time with Merlin."

I heard Merlin's voice, slightly muffled from behind the screen, call out. "What are you talking about Arthur? You can never have too much time with me!"

I rolled my eyes and tapped my foot impatiently- this had better be good. Finally after another few moments Morgana called over to me again. "Okay, we're ready!"

"Finally!"

She looks amazing... When I said endowed earlier... Wait have I stopped breathing?

"Arthur," the angel approached, concern written all over her face. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." I don't think I can many more words, I mean she looks truly amazing. I thought she was beautiful before in boy clothes but now she's wearing this fancy dress which shows just how ample her chest is and her luscious curves. Her hair is nearly as sleek and shiny as Morgana's and it's a bit longer and her eyes seem to pop out of her head (in a good way). Morgana's really evil, I can see her smirking over Merlin's shoulder and I know she's done this deliberately to... I don't know stir up some of her normal mischief. Wait she has magic is that the reason I'm gaping like a fool?

"I think Arthur's speechless, Merlin. Well done, I've been trying to do that for years!"

Their laughing abruptly snapped me out of it and I scowled. "Well for all the time it took she could hardly look nothing short of amazing!" This earned me a thump from Morgana.

**Merlin's POV**

We spent the rest of the day talking in Morgana's chambers and I couldn't help feeling odd acting like their equal and also being laced up to the point of suffocation in one of Morgana's dresses. Seriously breathing is not the priority in those things! It was nice just sitting there laughing and talking, it helped us forget all our family issues and just pretend nothing had happened with simple small talk and jokes.

To soon night fell and I remembered again my troubles. I didn't want to go back to Gaius' chambers, my anger had lessened but hadn't disappeared and I didn't want to face him yet or my mother. Morgana however seemed to sense this and smiled. "Merlin, why don't you stay here tonight?"

Arthur butted in before I could reply. "That would hardly be appropriate Morgana."

"Why? She's my sister. And I hardly think Merlin wants to face Gaius."

"There's only one bed!" I really wanted to point out to Arthur that Morgana's be was huge and that it could probably fit about four people in comfortably.

"Like I said we're sisters. I'm sure we can share." Morgana was smiling at me and I beamed back. It felt good for Morgana to address me as her sister. She used the word so casually that it didn't feel like a new idea- like we'd known eachother for years. I am so glad that Morgana is my sister because I couldn't think of a better one.

"Arthur. Stop being such a clot pole. That bed is quite big and like Morgana said we're sisters. It's hardly scandalous for us to share a bed."

Arthur seemed unsure of how to reply but I think he knew that against the combined forces of me and Morgana he stood no chance. "Fine. But we have to face Gaius and the others at some point."

Morgana sighed and looked at Arthur pleadingly. "Yes, we do. But not tonight."

They way Morgana said it clearly said there was nothing else to say on the subject so Arthur wisely shut up and turned to leave. "Arthur!" I called out suddenly, he turned around to face me his face unreadable. I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck into a hug. "Thank you for everything! For accepting me and for not hating me for who I am."

His arms tentatively wrapped around my waist and he whispered into my ear. "That's fine Merlin. I just wish you'd told me sooner."

I leant back a little and pecked his cheek, he blushed brilliantly and I suddenly panicked. I never been intimate with a man before- I mean I'd hugged Will and Gaius- but that was more of a family relationship. I let him go and ran behind the dressing screen. I heard Morgana usher him out and them come round the screen to talk to me. "Merlin, what the hell just happened?"

"What do you mean?" I knew my voice was unnaturally high and I tried desperately to get it back to normal.

"I mean you two were fine hugging then you kissed his cheek and ran away like your life depended on it. Merlin, what's wrong?"

"He doesn't like me like that! He made that perfectly clear when he stood there like a statue. I don't want the additional stress of having boy trouble as well as family problems. I should have just left with a hug but no I had to make things awkward!" I'd finally got down to my chemise and walked over to the bed. "Look can we just go to sleep?" Morgana opened her mouth as if to protest. "Please?" I think she saw my desperate expression because she backed down and silently prepared herself for bed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for reading this story and for the favorites and reviews! I hope you like this chapter.**

**Gwen's POV**

I have the worst luck with men ever! I liked Merlin, turns out to be a woman. I liked Lancelot and he was banished, although Merlin said he kind of banished himself whatever that means! And then I was beginning to warm to Arthur and lo and behold he falls in love with Merlin, who I used to like as I used to think he was a well a _he_! How can I ever face Merlin again? I know something dramatic happened today in court that somehow involved Merlin, Arthur and Morgana. And now there's a rumour that Merlin and Morgana are sisters! What did that traitor ever do to deserve Morgana as her sister? I deserve to be her sister! I'm alone in the world- my parents are dead and my brother absent who knows where. I've always been quite a gentle person but I can feel rage bubble up inside of me and resentment, why am I always the last and the least fortunate? Merlin has a mother, a witch but a mother, Morgana as a sister and Arthur as a lover. Why does she, a liar and a witch, get all of this when I am stuck here in front of my dwindling candle trying to stitch one of Morgana's dresses so that she'll be impressed. She'd always treated me like sister but now Merlin will replace me. We were two lonely people who only had each other but now she has a sister, a mother and if the rumours of the court are to be believed Uthur is also her father! Which means Arthur is her brother, who is now with Merlin! They've left me out and I can't see them be willing to allow me, a simple blacksmith's daughter, back into their little circle. There was always something about Merlin- for one thing she could read and write as well as any noble- she was always too endearing, too slimy. She was probably trying to worm her way into our hearts, she is a witch after all!

I can picture her face now, the female one, she'd been so sneaky and calculated, taking down her disguise in front of the whole court and renouncing her mother. She was probably working with her mother to infiltrate Camelot, by renouncing her and appearing to be overwhelmed with guilt for lying to everybody whilst secretly working with her mother to bring down Camelot! Nobody would believe me of course, I'm not the new sister of the King's ward or the lover of the prince. She's a clever one this witch I'll give her that but she'll slip up eventually.

When she does I'll take back my place as Morgana's confidante and sister and will also reclaim Arthur. Then I'll finally be happy with everything I could possibly want. If I play my cards right with Uthur I might even be allowed to marry Arthur and then one day be Queen of Camelot! Queen Guinevere sounds very well indeed...

**Balinor's POV**

I'd felt her. For the first time in twenty years I felt Ambrosia- her magic pulled to me across the distance and I lifted my eyes to the moon and tears filled my eyes. She was back, she was complete again not that I hadn't loved her without her magic but I could sense she'd felt useless and pathetic. She was never that to me even without her magic she was strong, brave and beautiful. Her magic had only enhanced that more and now I need to find her. I crept silently into the night mumbling magical words to hide my trail. People couldn't know I was alive or that would ruin everything. I could feel my kin trapped beneath the fortress of Camelot and anger rose up inside of me. When he was free I would let him burn Camelot to the ground, maybe then Uthur would realise what it's like to feel your world burn and you being powerless to stop it.

But first Ambrosia, I must find her and then our destinies will be fulfilled and we shall become the new King and Queen of Camelot. I follow the tendril of her magic and I feel more alive than I have in years.

**Mordred's POV**

"He's back." I called to my companion as I observed the water in the scrying basin.

Her brown eyes fixed of me and I saw the hunger we both shared for bloodshed light her eyes. "Then we must find him."

"I agree although it won't be easy he's following some bodies magical trail."

"Whose?" She approached me and stood by my shoulder.

"Ambrosia's." I heard the contempt in my own voice. The woman had been too weak to raise us and when the purge began abandoned us to be burned at the stake. She may have been the one who gave birth to us but she is not our mother. We have only ever needed eachother and that's always seemed to work for us however Balinor is a different story. He may be weak enough to fall under Ambrosia's spell but he is also strong enough to command a dragon so will be a valuable ally in our revenge.

"Aww, dearest mother." My sister cooed beside me and I didn't bother to hide my smirk. "Then we can kill two birds with one stone. Get Balinor on our side whilst showing our loving mama just how powerful her children have become."

"Sounds like a plan." I replied, grabbing my cloak and an amulet from the table beside me. "We better be going."

My sister grinned and took my offered arm. "Yes we had." Then with a few muttered words she transported both of us to the place I'd just seen Balinor in the basin. Without a word we headed off in pursuit, the thrill of the hunt pulsing through my veins.

**Merlin's POV**

Screaming startled me awake and in the darkness I was terrified but then remembered where I was. Morgana was writhing on the bed next to me and was screaming her lungs out. I reached out across the bed and touched Morgana's arm tentatively then before I lost all my courage I pulled her into my arms and rubbed her back trying to calm her down. The screams became muffled into my shoulder and they eventually stopped as Morgana woke but I heard a vase smash behind me and Morgana screamed again.

I pulled Morgana away from me and held her cheek forcing her to look into my face. "Morgana, you're safe. I'm here." She continued to cry but was slowly beginning to calm down. "Whatever your vision showed you Morgana we can fight and we can use that knowledge to help us. Do you want to talk about what you saw?"

Morgana steadied her breathing and looked me in the eyes. "I saw a fight. Ambrosia fighting a woman I didn't know. She was crying and in pain. Then I could just see flashes of us getting hurt and you were sobbing..."

"Morgana I'm fine. We're all fine if slightly illegal. These events haven't yet come to pass and we can stop them. With fore knowledge we can protect ourselves, Gana. Your gift can be more of a curse sometimes and I know it can't be fun but now we can prepare."

We were quiet for a while and neither of us seemed to want to break it. Gently I laid Morgana back down on the bed and walked over to the glass vase that she'd broken with her magic; I fixed it quickly and then rearranged the flowers whilst she watched me. "Can you teach me how to control it?"

I smiled. "Didn't you see the windows today? I can barely control my own!"

Morgana smiled weakly. "That was different. You were very emotional, it's understandable but I need help I keep exploding things and lighting fires. I need help Merlin!"

I sat down on the bed next to her and began stroking her hair. "Morgana, what kind of sister would I be if I didn't help you?" She smiled and lay back down on the bed. "We'll get started tomorrow but tonight get some sleep, Gana." With that we both settled back down to sleep.

**Sorry if you didn't like Gwen here but I thought since in the show most of her plot lines come from the fact that she's in love with Arthur that didn't really work in my story. I swear I love Gwen in the original series.**


	8. Chapter 8

**There had to be some repercussions. Tell me what you think...pretty please! **

**Arthur's POV**

The numbness from yesterday was gone and like a hangover I was feeling the effects the next morning. The anger at my father almost made me reach for my sword. How could he do that to so many innocent people because he hadn't cared enough to check the conditions of his greed? How could he swear to protect his people when he slaughters thousands of them a year? He's murdered whole families before because one of them had magic! How is that to any sane mind fair? I'd always thought there had been some kind of genocide or at least some kind attack. But no this had been one woman. I know several knights who have done disgusting things to people below them but that doesn't mean I relate or do the same things because I'm a knight! And Gaius just watched his friends die apparently, watched as my father went mad and killed innocents. I'd always admired Gaius- he'd almost been a second father to me- but this was the first time I'd ever thought he was a coward.

I couldn't trust anyone anymore. Only Morgana, Ambrosia and Merlin were truly innocent and as much as I'd been raised to despise magic I realise now that was just some fear of my father's. _Merlin_. Her name meant so much to me; she'd been my first friend, apart from Morgana, she'd treated me like an actual human being and even though she'd also lied I couldn't help trust her. How could I blame her for wanting to keep her head on her shoulders? She'd been nothing but faithful to me as a servant and now I knew the truth I couldn't bring myself to hate her.

I'd been pacing up and down my chambers since I'd woken, nobody had been in and I decided to get out of my chambers and attempt to escape my mind. The corridors was empty and unusually silent as I walked through the castle. I has a vague plan of going to see Morgana again but as I turned into the next corridor two guards grabbed me and pulled me in the other direction. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"We're taking you see the king." One of the men growled and I could tell from his tone that this wasn't going to be a friendly visit but I willingly let them half drag me through the corridors because I know at the moment with no plan in this fortified a castle there was no escape. I'm just going to have to wait to see how this pans out.

**Leon's POV**

I was walking through the corridor after briefing some guards when I saw two men dragging Arthur through the corridors. Everybody at court knew something had happened yesterday between the Royal family and two witches and the rumours flying around were just pure fantasy. One person was saying that the Lady Morgana was the King's daughter, another that she was the witches daughter and Merlin's sister. Merlin being a)magical and b)a woman was the only thing I actually believed because I was there the rest sounded like a drunk man's ramblings! But Arthur being dragged through the halls of Camelot was definitely odd and I quickly hastened (you don't run in the castle) after them.

They ended up in the throne room and I quickly followed through the door. It seemed the whole court was there and in the centre of the room in front of the king himself was four figures who looked like they'd been thrown to their knees before the king. One of them was the Crown Prince himself and I nearly rushed forward to defend the man who I'd sworn loyalty to and valued as a friend. Now he was being treated like a common criminal. Beside him was the Lady Morgana, no longer elegant and refined, but instead hunched over before the King wearing a simple dress that looked as if it had been put on in a hurry and her hair was flowing unkempt down her back. Next to her was another girl and it took me a minute to recognise the female Merlin. I nearly threw my cloak over her when I saw she was only wearing a chemise- although she was covered it was hardly suitable for her to be in her under garments before the whole court! The final figure was older and I recognised her as the witch from yesterday, she looked at her King with a gleam in her eye. It was as if she was looking into his soul and judging him.

With Arthur before him now the King's voice rang out across the room. "We are gathered here today to sentence the sorceresses Ambrosia and Merlin. Here with them are my son, Arthur, and my ward, Morgana, who have been caught conspiring with the sorceresses. No man will go unpunished for the crime of consorting with sorceresses not even my own son. For his crime he shall be banished and will be unable to return until he has truly learnt that all magic is evil." Arthur growled and launched himself at his father but two guards held him back.

"Sire?" I asked him quietly to the surprise of the entire court. "Without the prince it is likely our military situation will be fragile and it would also leave the kingdom without an heir."

"I am well aware of this Sir Leon and has therefore decided to give my son a choice- he can repent now or leave until magic harms him the way it has harmed us all."

All eyes fell upon Arthur, who spat at father's feet. "Magic is not the evil here, you are. For your crimes you shall go to hell!"

Everybody was shocked by Arthur's vehement response apart from Uthur. "Very well my son you leave me no choice. You are banished until you return to your senses. Morgana on the other hand is banished permanently from Camelot-"

"I never wish to return to a kingdom where you are still King, Uthur Pendragon. You slaughter innocents all from your own fear and grief. You've killed hundreds for the crime of one woman!" For once there was absolute silence in the court until a resounding slap pierced the air. Morgana fell to the floor at the force of the blow and I could see Arthur struggling again against his captors.

However it was the witch Ambrosia who came to Morgana's defence as she stood before her king with a tremor in her voice. "How dare you touch her like that! My daughter! Your own flesh and blood!-" _Wait Uthur really was Morgana's father?! _"-Do not even entertain the notion that you can execute me or Merlin. She is alone more powerful than any other can ever aspire to be!"

King Uthur looked at Ambrosia with nothing short of hatred in his eyes and raised his hand to hit Merlin. This time I ran forward and shielded the young girl who seemed to be motionless. I pulled her away from the King's reach and the whole court looked at me with raised eyebrows and scowls. "You would dare protect a sorceress Sir Leon?! YOU ARE A TRAITOR TOO! YOU ARE ALSO BANISHED AND IF I SEE YOU WITHIN CAMELOT'S BORDERS AGAIN I SHALL SEVER YOUR HEAD FORM YOUR BODY!" I backed away still holding the seemingly unconscious girl.

"NO! NO MORE UTHUR!" With that the witch Ambrosia let out a spell of blinding light and when I opened my eyes again I saw that everybody except Arthur, Morgana, Ambrosia and I were sprawled on the floor. The witch hurried over to me and took the girl form my arms. "Thank you! The cowards drugged her to make her less of a threat."

"Ambrosia, allow me?" Reluctantly the witch handed her daughter the Lady Morgana. Confused I watched as a golden light seemed to spill from her finger tips and into the girls still body. _The Lady Morgana is a sorceress!?_ Immediately Merlin took a deep shuddering breath and awoke eyes big and scared.

Arthur had untangled himself from the guards and walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, smiling. "Thank you for staying loyal to me old friend." I smiled weakly back and although I had no idea what I was getting myself into I followed my Prince, the two sorceresses and the magical Lady of the court out of the throne room.

**Gwen's POV**

When I came to with the rest of the court I was unsurprised to see the prince, my lady, the knight and the witches gone. King Uthur was screaming and ordering a witch hunt whilst the court was awash with whispers about the whole affair. I merely stood there. I felt useless-against such power how can a simple peasant girl like me have a chance? I can't afford to be weak against such overwhelming evil and I need a solution. My brother! Elyan is a master swordsman and gladiator, he taught many of the knights of Camelot and although I have no idea where he is now I'm sure I can find him and get him to come home.

As for Morgana she is a betrayer with Merlin, she left Camelot with the witches and has done what I knew she would-abandon me. Any loyalty that I held to her dissolved the moment she left me alone, too many people have left me for me to trust for them to return. I've always been alone and now I realise it's better that way-people only let you down.

I sit at my scrubbed table and decide to find Elyan. Maybe one of the knights know and can send word to him for me... It's time I knew how to kill the magical scum who tried to take whatever's left of me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows. Sorry if you don't like Gwen like this but well... the plot bunnies told me to do it! Please enjoy! **

**Merlin's POV**

We finally made it out of Camelot but not before Arthur dressed in his chainmail and got his sword and I finally managed to put on some clothes. I decided to wear breeches and a tunic because it was easier to travel like that. We'd grabbed horses from the stables and had galloped out before anyone could try to stop us.

Now we're in the forest and there's a awkward silence between us, Arthur and Morgana seem mad and Leon just looks slightly wary. I liked Leon, he'd always been nice to me and was the very best of Arthur's men and unquestioningly loyal.

Ambrosia approached Morgana warily. "Morgana?" Her head whipped round to our mother. "If your now banished it's probably best that you wear a disguise."

"What about you and Merlin? You both have been sentenced to death." Morgana looked at me sadly but I tried to smile reassuringly back.

"We have control of our magic but you however are vulnerable until you have control so I would like you to wear this." She held out the necklace of illusion that I had been using to disguise myself as a boy.

"That's the necklace Merlin wore."

"Yes it's a necklace of illusion, a family heir loom, it has the power to sustain a illusion for as long as the user is wearing it, only your eyes stay the same. It uses its own magic so doesn't drain you but only works for magical people."

"Fine." Morgana tried to sound resigned but I could see an excited gleam in her eyes as she fastened it around her neck and then suddenly it was like I was looking at a mirror. Morgana had chosen to look exactly like me! Everybody looked between us shocked as we smirked at eachother- this was going to be fun! "I'll be Merlin's twin sister, Freya."

Ambrosia sighed at our antics but I could see her resisting a smile as she muttered. "That's all we need-another Merlin!"

Arthur and Leon who'd been watching the exchange uncertain guffawed at Ambrosia's dig but Morgana just rode her horse closer to mine and reached over and linked my arm. together we walked on leaving the others behind us.

**Mordred's POV**

Our prey was easy to find. Although he'd been attempting to hide his trail the power of a Dragonlord was easy to sense even miles away, their dragon spirit was so strong that it glowed. The man was crouching over a creek when we approached, scooping water into his hand and drinking it doggedly. "Hello Balinor."

The old man looked up at us and I saw the fleeting panic cross his face. "I've never heard of a Balinor, lad. My name's John."

I raised an eyebrow. "No need to fear old man. My sister and I possess the same gift you do."

The man chuckled at that and I saw him draw his body in a somewhat threatening stance. "I doubt that, lad. And I suggest you take that pretty sister of yours and leave me be before I get angry."

"Now now, Balinor, no need to be hasty we want the same thing do we not?" At his questioning eyebrow I smirked. "the death of Uthur Pendragon and all who share his name."

Balinor merely shrugged and picked up a pack from the forest floor. "It's true I hold no love for a Pendragon but I'm not here for revenge. Not yet anyway."

"No," I replied casually. "First you will find Ambrosia now she has returned back to the magical community."

Balinor had been turning to go but at the mention of her name he spun back around. "You know Ambrosia?"

"I should she gave birth to me."

"Your Mordred?"

I nodded and then gestured to my silent sister. "And this is my sister, Morgause."

"I know, Ambrosia often mentioned you."

I resisted the urge to scowl. How dare that woman mention us! How dare she even remember the names of the children that she abandoned! However I forced my face to remain blank. "I think we can work very well together to bring about Camelot's fall."

For a moment the clearing we were in was silent apart from the running water, Balinor surveying us and I could hear his brain thinking and calculating. Then drawing a deep breath replied finally. "I agree but not without Ambrosia."

**Ambrosia's POV**

I knew Merlin and Morgana were angry at me and that the two men were wary of me, but at the moment I didn't care. I was free and my magic flowed into my surroundings and the woodland replied and it wasn't long before I sensed where the druids were encamped. I turned to the rest of my party. "I can sense the druids and I think it would be best for us to travel with them."

The banished prince's face contorted into horror. "No."

"Why not? They serve Emrys and it's a safe place for Morgana and Merlin to study and focus their magic."

"My magic has improved since I left Ealdor, Ambrosia. And the druids don't _serve_ me- they _respect_ me." I noticed the usage of my forename from my own daughter and I knew it was to remind me of the lies I'd told her as a child. Even though I was upset I understood and hoped that she would one day forgive me and be my loyal, reckless and beautiful daughter again.

"I know but still in Camelot you were not allowed the freedom it takes to become truly at one with your magic. I bet you only learnt spells by necessity." I took from her lack of reply that I was right and continued. "Besides it will be good for Prince Arthur and Sir Leon to see magic used so naturally and easily.

"Fine." Merlin muttered darkly as she trotted past me. "But you lost the right to tell us what's good for us the moment you lied." And through all the hurt I still couldn't find it within me to be angry. "Come on Freya!"

**Arthur's POV**

The druids had been surprisingly easy to find. I mean really the amount of patrols we did in this area and we'd never founds this big, unprotected settlement was quite worrying. I mean what does that say about our patrols? Ambrosia was talking to the druids now about our current situation and they had bowed their head respectfully at a High Priestess, they'd all bowed to Merlin as well and whispered her druid name reverently as well. From the nervous slightly alarmed look on her face when the druids did this I could tell she was uncomfortable and I couldn't help (despite the serious situation) find it adorable. Leon and I were hanging back but Morgana was looking at everything in the druid camp from the fire to the tent dragging the reluctant Merlin along with her. I could feel Leon's unease as it mingle with my own and I smiled at my friend. "It'll be fine, Leon."

"How can you be sure, sire? How do you know they won't hate us as Knights of Camelot?"

"Because I've seen enough druids to know that they above all things believe in peace." I surveyed the campsite, taking in the worn tents with children weaving in and out playing whilst the adults all crowded around Ambrosia. "These don't seem like aggressive people Leon. Scared maybe but not violent."

Leon opened his mouth to respond but a small boy with unruly red hair tugged on his arm before he could. "Mummy says your Knights of Camelot." The child looked between the two of us with pale grey eyes. "Are you going to kill us?"

I felt my stomach fall and immediately I wanted to be sick. Leon seemed to have no idea what to say and he looked slightly green as well. I crouched down so that I was level with the child and looked him straight in the eye. "What's your name?"

"Galahad."

"Well Galahad. Neither me or my friend here mean any harm to you or your people. We are here with our magical friends and we wish to be friends with your people to."

Galahad's eyes widened and he looked at me in awe. "You want to be my friend?"

"Yes Galahad. I would like to be your friend very much."

The small face split into a grin and he grabbed my hand with surprising force. "Can we play knights?" Standing up I glanced at Leon who smiled and we both followed Galahad as he led us over to his friends who were all watching us cautiously. "They want to play knights with us!"

The children all smiled at that and grabbed small sticks they were obviously going to use as swords and a small girl passed me and Leon some slightly bigger ones. Her face was worried but when I smiled at her she smiled back and I felt my heart swell as I watched her scurry back to 'ranks' with the others. I saw the adults watch with puzzled but happy looks as they watched me and Leon 'train' the druid children and I saw Merlin's face above all watching me with a proud grin upon her beautiful face.

**Mordred's POV**

I was walking across Camelot's training ground after claiming my father's title when I saw her. Standing by a rack of weapons stood an angel in human form, with long black hair sensibly tied in a sensible bun and cocoa coloured skin, but it wasn't her beauty that I was captured by. It was the aura of betrayal and anger that you couldn't see marked on her face but that I could sense and it intoxicated me. There was something so pure yet dangerous in it that I felt the need to capture it and posses it. So delaying my mission for a moment I walked over to her and spoke. "Why are you looking at the weapons, my lady?"

Her head snapped up to look up at me angrily and her eyes flashed so that I saw the anger that I felt earlier. "I am no lady." Her voice was hard and bitter and I loved it. "And a woman has just as much right to _look_ at weapons as a man."

"Indeed. My sister is a true proficient with many different types of weaponry. I was merely inquiring why you were simply _looking_ when it's clear you'd rather be _wielding_ the weapons." She half shrugged and turned her gaze back to the weapons. I grabbed a sword from the rack and passed it to her whilst simultaneously drawing my own.

"I have no training sir." she frowned, trying to pass the sword back to be but I refused to take it.

"Then I shall train you." She smiled which I look as a sign of agreement. "What is your name?"

"My name is Guinevere."

"Well Guinevere my name is Sir Mordred and I look forward to getting better acquainted with you." I lead her onto the field and smiled. "Let's begin."

**Gwen's POV**

I'd been so disheartened when I'd been standing on the training field looking at the weapons because I hadn't been able to find my brother to train me. But as I sparred with Sir Mordred I felt something change but I wasn't sure what. He was a great teacher and as I left the training I felt like I'd finally found somebody to stay with me. Somebody loyal who would never lie or betray me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 folks, hope you like it! **

**Merlin's POV**

Ambrosia had managed to convince the druids into letting us stay and Morgana was practically vibrating with happiness. Leon and Arthur seemed to have loosened up a bit as well after playing knights with the children and Arthur was still talking to a young ginger boy. I smiled to myself and settled down on one of the logs around the empty fire pit alone as Morgana had been spirited off by one of druids to look at some ancient tomes about seers. So I closed my eyes and revelled in my solitude. In the last day my whole life had changed and I hadn't yet had a chance to properly think about it yet. I felt somebody sit next to me and from the clink of chainmail and the scent I took it to be Leon. I opened my eyes. "Hello, Sir Leon."

He snorted. "I'm not _Sir_ Leon anymore."

"Uthur is a fool and one day Arthur will reinstate your title. He maybe a prat but he isn't a fool like Uthur."

Soft laughter escaped his lips and I smiled. "I can't believe I followed Uthur so blindly all these years. Being here-" he gestured to the camp around him."-and meeting all these people has really opened my eyes."

"Then I guess Ambrosia was right. Magic is neutral but when Uthur started the purge he drove many of my kind to evil."

"How could you serve him for so long knowing he was wrong?"

"I wasn't serving Uthur. I was serving Arthur and I will continue to do so until the day I die." My eyes met Leon's and I smiled fondly. "I believe in the world he will create and the it's my job to make sure he lives long enough to do that."

" We share that belief. I have always thought that Arthur would be a great king but now I see what you see."

And what do I see, Sir Leon?"

"You and I both see the man who will unite both magical and non-magical people under one banner. The man who will bring peace to Camelot."

"And far beyond Leon." With that we fell silent and both observed the once and future king.

**Gaius' POV**

The son of Myrddin was in Camelot. The information had been whispered around the court and I felt the tension rising as the gossip about recent events circulated and the new arrival only brought more. It was common knowledge that Sir Myrddin had been married to Ambrosia and after her return the arrival of her son was highly suspicious. Many knights had seen him training earlier and they acknowledged he had talent but nobody had yet been brave enough to talk to the man.

I on the other hand had more important things to worry about than the gossip of court, most importantly the king's illness. After having banished his son and daughter the king's mind had broken and although this was carefully concealed from the court and his subjects it was clear that King Uthur Pendragon had died inside. He could still breathe and move but there was no longer the warrior inside of him and he moved around the palace in a trance and rarely left his wing of the castle unless for public occasions. I had been the only one able to visit him apart from his closest advisors and whenever I was there he remained stonily silent.

I entered the room as per usual and walked over to him and reached out to start my check up when he grabbed my frail wrist. "Gaius?"

"Yes your majesty?"

"Why do you stay loyal to me?" His eyes were glazed over and although looking in my direction I could see he wasn't really _looking_ at me.

"Because you are my king." He released my wrist and I continued examining him.

I left with no other words passing between us and for the first time in twenty years I saw Uthur Pendragon doubting himself.

**Morgana's POV**

We'd been with the druids two weeks and I never wanted it to end! Merlin and I spent most morning with the elder druids and Ambrosia learning about magic and for the first time since I'd discovered it I felt truly comfortable with my magic. Then in the afternoons Arthur, Leon, Merlin and I would wander around the woods exploring and just enjoying each other's company. Leon and I often concocted some kind f plan to leave the other two alone because we could both see their budding romance and it was also fun to think of more and more ridiculous excuses as to why we couldn't walk with them someplace. As a result Leon and I had grown surprisingly close and were actually good friends.

I skipped into mine and Merlin's tent to see she was already in there writing. "Hey Merlin. What are you going here. I thought you were going for a walk with Arthur?"

"Yep." She looked up at me and grinned. "and I thought you had a sprained ankle. Miracle you can skip so elegantly."

"Yes well I got one of the healers to look at it."

My baby sister rolled her eyes and amazingly managed to raise an eyebrow at the same time. "Morgana, Arthur and I both know what you two are up to."

"I have no idea to what you are referring."

"The fact that you and Leon keep leaving me and Arthur together."

"What? Why would we be doing that? Maybe it's the obvious feelings you have for eachother?" I smiled mischievously as a faint pink appeared on her cheeks. Although enjoying her embarrassment I changed the subject. "Who are you writing to?"

"Lancelot. It would be nice to see him again so I'm asking if he wants to visit." She'd said it nonchalantly enough but I couldn't resist teasing.

"Oh Lancelot! Should I inform Arthur that he has some competition?"

"Lancelot and I are just friends. Besides he loves Gwen."

I sat down on my bed and sighed. "I miss Gwen."

"Me too. I never got a chance to fully explain everything to her. I hope she's not angry at me."

"We didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

"Morgana." She leant towards me and placed a hand on my knee reassuringly. "Gwen knows you see her as a sister and will understand."

"You probably right but I wish I'd said it myself, you know?"

"One day we'll both get a chance to explain I'm sure but until then stop getting your match making claws into me and Arthur." I just smirked and grabbed my cloak so that I could go for a walk with Elaine.

**Gwen's POV**

It's my wedding day. I'd made the dress myself and I couldn't help thinking it looked beautiful. I hoped my betrothed would agree. It had happened so fast and now as I stand here and catch my breath I can't help the bubble of happiness swell inside of me swell. Today I was marrying the man who I'd only met a few weeks ago, the man who stirred up the gossip in court, the half brother of my two ex-best friends, the man who had trained me within two weeks to wield a sword as well as any of the knights, the man I'd fallen in love with. Today I was marrying Sir Mordred, son of Myrddin and Ambrosia. He'd told me last night he had magic and I couldn't bring myself to care by that point my love for him was too strong to crumble and I'd realised something. When Morgana and Merlin left it wasn't magic that was evil it was them. Mordred wasn't like them and had never even met them so I couldn't blame him for his sisters' crimes against me- he had his father's honour and that's all he needed to be different form them.

As for Arthur I no longer held any resentment at all. He had been contaminated by my soon to be sisters in law and I knew that one day he and Mordred would unite to create a land where magic is free. That was my dream and I knew that once Mordred was free I would be eternally happy.

There could never be any comparison to our love and I knew that he would protect me and care for me for as long as we both lived. So there was no hesitation as I walked up the isle of the small church and saw the man who held my heart. When I said my vows I knew that I meant them with my heart and soul and I could tell from his burning eyes that Mordred felt the same way. We would be together forever and when magic is free and his traitorous sisters dead nothing could stop the golden age of Camelot from beginning.

**Mordred's POV**

I was a married man now and I knew as I looked at her that she would always be my first priority after Camelot. I agreed with my vows but I knew there was something else that would always come before her, the power of the kingdom. As I slept next to her after hours of various exhausting activities I whispered my own vow. "When it comes to the throne of Camelot I shall always choose the throne but no matter what I shall always love you Guinevere."

And that was it. The truth because even now my plans for Camelot are coming into fruition and no matter what I would make sure I succeed. As if reading my thoughts a blackbird landed on my windowsill with a note clasped in its beak. Slipping out of my beloved's grasp I took the note from the bird and unrolled it.

_Brother,_

_I hope this letter sees you in good health and I hope that Camelot welcomes you as a knight. Balinor and I are on Ambrosia's trail but it appears she does not travel alone. Balinor is quite irritating in his frequent declarations of love for her and seems to be under the impression that she is indeed a mother to us. If he wasn't so important I would sever his head from his body for being so mistaken. _

_We have discovered that Ambrosia was in Camelot o if you could make inquiries as to why that may help us understand where she is heading._

_Yours_

_Morgause_

I hadn't heard of Ambrosia being here but Morgause's revelation intrigued me and I hastily wrote a reply saying I would look into it. I hadn't mentioned I'd married a servant because I knew she would be angry because Morgause had never understood love all she saw was advantage and marrying a servant of Camelot definitely wasn't helping things. I smiled as I kissed by wife's dark skin, this was love and I was only just beginning to understand it.

**Surprised?**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Sorry this took a bit longer but insomnia's a witch! Anyway I hope you like this chapter... you can even tell me so if you like...**

**Lancelot's POV**

The letter was gripped tightly in my hand as I walked through the town I was staying in. Merlin's words troubled me and I was scared for my friend and I was going to see him immediately but I didn't want to go alone.

A few hours later two horses were saddled and we were ready to go, nobody watched us go and it pained me when I thought of the woman I loved not being there. She filled my thoughts constantly but I never saw her, she haunted my every step but never did I meet her, I heard her sweet voice whispering in the background but never did it address me. I couldn't say her name for fear that she would kill me to speak such unattainable riches- I am as unworthy now as I was then.

My companion noticed my silence and spoke in his deep clear voice. "You must care for this Merlin very much."

I smiled at the thought of our adventure together. "Yes we met in Camelot and he risked his life to help me fulfil my dream."

"To become a knight of Camelot?" I nodded and grinned at the memory of my short time as a knight. "Then why aren't you still a knight?"

"He forged papers saying that I was of royal blood and when it was discovered I was not I was banished."

"He's a criminal?"

"No." I laughed at the idea of Merlin being a criminal although one day he may just murder Prince Arthur! "He's magic."

"In Camelot? He must be suicidal!" He was frowning deeply and I didn't blame him, I didn't understand why Merlin stayed in Camelot myself if I'm honest.

"I don't know why he stays but he's loyal to Prince Arthur and apparently something's happened and he has been put to death and the Prince banished!"

My friend whistled. "That sounds like quite a tale!"

"Indeed it does, Percival, and I'm worried for my friend." He nodded sadly and we galloped on towards the Darkling woods where Merlin said they were staying with the druids.

**Elaine's POV**

I liked the new comers, the others seemed wary, but Merlin and Freya seemed perfectly friendly and nice. The High Priestess was a bit intimidating and the men with them a bit distant but Freya and Merlin we're soon becoming my friends. So that's why I was walking alone with only Freya for company in the woods. "I love being with your people!" Freya twirled a huge smile on her face.

I laughed at her antics. "It's a good environment to raise Galahad in."

"Yes everybody helps you and knows you. Arthur seems quite taken with your young Galahad and I'd be worried if I were you that he doesn't spirit him away."

"Well if he can put up with the endless moaning he's more than welcome!"

Freya laughed as she continued to twirl. "They can moan together! "

"Although from what I can see he won't need to steal my child for much longer."

Freya stopped twirling and looked at me curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Oh sorry...was I presuming too much between him and your sister?"

"Yes well no well hopefully soon I can expect some nieces and nephews... But at the moment they are being annoyingly blind to how cute they would be together!" Freya sighed dramatically.

I laughed and realised I had been rather reminisce. I was supposed to be educating Freya about the forest plants but so far had neglected to teach her anything so I knelt down and plucked some fungi from beside the path. " These little beauties are the most delicious mushroom you shall ever find in the five kingdoms you can tell which ones are safe to eat from the pale brown colour- if they are any darker they may be poisonous." Freya nodded eagerly and we continued through the forest with me pointing out significant plants as we went.

**Lancelot's POV**

Ok I was big enough to admit we were hopelessly lost and that in my haste to leave had forgotten to get a proper map. Percival had never traveled in this area and I was struggling to remember a safe route through the woods and there was no way I was leading my friend into danger. All we could hope for was some kind of settlement where we could ask for directions and lo and behold as if summoned by magic as soon as we broached the crest of the hill there was a small town on the horizon. With new vigour we spurred our horses faster until we reached the town.

The tavern seemed like a good place to ask around and so we tied up our horses outside and wandered into the establishment. Inside there was some kind of fight. There was a man caught in a circle of people and for a moment I couldn't tell who he was supposed to be fighting until I realised he was fighting all of them. Nether the less he didn't look scared and had a carefree grin spread on his face and was in a strong fighting stance. "All right lads? Are you really sure you want to take me on?" I had to admire his courage but the thugs seemed unconcerned, part of me wanted to leap in and help. It was hardly honourable to attack one man with so many especially when most of those men were huge but Percival held me back.

One man unsheathed a sword and stalked menacingly towards him but the man in the centre swiftly disarmed him in one movement and picked up the sword for himself. The now sword less man looked uncertain but still approached. With his newly acquired sword the centre man slashed lightly across the man's middle causing his trousers to fall to his ankles. The man squealed comically and picking up his trousers ran to the edge of the circle. The others angered and obviously not seeing the superior swordsmanship of this man all leapt into the fray with him. Even though it was a dozen on one the man never seemed to be outnumbered and I watched in awe as he utilized both his fists and his stolen blade to defeat the men who were attacking.

When in the end all the men were either unconscious or had left, the man in the middle lowered his sword and walked over to a table. Taking a deep swig of whatever liquid was inside he picked up a pack and another sword throwing the other one distastefully to the floor, then he headed towards us to the door, acting on instinct I addressed him. "Sorry but can you give us directions to the Darkling woods?"

"Do I look like a map?" He grunted in reply and I noticed he didn't seem at all breathless after having just taken on twelve thugs.

"No but you look like a traveller and we really need to get to the Darkling Woods as soon as possible."

"Why would you want to? It's in Camelot's borders. That place is as retched as they come."

"We have friends in danger there. Can you please give us directions?"

The man paused for a second and then an odd look came to his eye. "You're not Knights of Camelot are you?"

"No, why?" From his tone I didn't add that I used to be.

"I'd never help one of those arses if I could help it. But if you're not I'll show you where to go. I'm heading in that direction anyway."

"Great. My names Lancelot and this is Percival, what do they call you?"

"Bastard mostly but Gwaine is just fine." He smirked and Percival chuckled a bit.

"Nice to meet you Gwaine."

"You to Lancelot."

**Balinor's POV**

We'd been trekking around the borders of Camelot for a few weeks now and I didn't know much about my companion. I'd been talking a lot about everything under the sun especially Ambrosia but she had remained silent unless she was shushing me. In the end I gave up trying to get her to converse with me so instead observed her.

She was beautiful like her mother, but instead of pale skin and dark hair, she was lightly tanned and had dark blonde hair. Her eyes seemed to take in her surroundings in an instant and all her movements were very concise and placed as if she was calculating every move. I could sense her magic but she hadn't used it yet, defeating any foe we came across with the blade in her belt. All in all Morgause was a very cool person who liked to be in control which was so different from her mother it scared me. At first I'd thought I would get along well with her and relate to her through Ambrosia but I was soon seeing that this woman was unpredictable and to underestimate her would be a very bad move.

Even with a silent and slightly suspicious travelling companion I can't help the butterflies in my stomach at the thought of seeing Ambrosia again after all this time. Even if her beauty has diminished and her magic weaker my love for her would still be strong and when following her magic it was almost as if answering her faraway call for me. This felt like the right path for my feet to be on.

"What is she like really?" I nearly fell in shock when I heard Morgause's voice, calm and controlled but with something else there (longing maybe?). Her brown eyes were fixed on me demanding an answer.

"Who?"

"Ambrosia." I noticed she didn't acknowledge their relation.

"She's beautiful, sweet and kind. When magic was free she used her own to ensure the happiness of everybody around her. Always smiling, the only time before the purge I remember it not so was the day she gave you and your brother over to the Old religion. She didn't smile for months after that."

"I don't remember her that well and my brother never scrys for her."

I frowned. "Surely a Priestess of the Old Religion is taught to scry."

She laughed hollowly and the sound sent chills through me. "I was not deemed worthy of such knowledge and my brother refuses to teach me."

"Well I'm sure when we find Ambrosia she will be more than happy to teach you the art."

After that she returned to stony silence and our trek continued as we neared the border of the Darkling woods when he her snapped up from the ground. "I sense her presence in there!" She pointed into the trees and a smile escaped her.

"Well what are we waiting for?" I grinned and followed the priestess as she lead the way through the thick trees.

**AN: Gwaine! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Yeah... I really need to figure out a schedule when to post these things... Anyway this is next part! And I don't actually own Merlin surprisingly.**

**Gwaine's POV**

I must have been pretty pissed when I agreed to take these two blokes to the Darkling woods because it was anywhere near where I was heading (which is anywhere apart from Camelot) and now here I was having agreed to take these two suspiciously nice blokes to Camelot. Great. Lancelot seemed the chattiest (although maybe a bit too politically correct for me), compared to the silent Percy at least, so it was him who I spoke to.

"So why are you headed to Camelot?"

"I told you my friend is in danger." Oh he may have told me that at some point thinking about it.

"Why what's happened to him?"

Lancelot shrugged awkwardly which made me instantly suspicious. "He didn't say."

"Whatever it is Lancelot don't you think I have a right to know since I'm endangering myself by getting involved."

Guilt struck Lancelot's face and I hid my smile. "He has magic."

Was that all? _Seriously? _"That's it?"

"Yes and he was a servant in King Uthur's court last time I saw him."

"Why would he stay there him being what he is?" This man was starting to sound quite stupid.

"He never told me why but he refused to leave." Yep this man that I was risking my life for was definitely stupid but I let the topic drop.

"Hey we're here!" I exclaimed a few hours later.

"Good." Percival grunted squinting into the woods. "Merlin is staying with the druids and they should be easy enough to find."

Lancelot snorted. "For you maybe." Percy's face fell and Lancelot shifted guiltily in his saddle whilst I watched on unsure. Deciding that this silence was awkward I decided to break it. "So let's go and find this friend of yours that has put himself in danger for no good reason. To be honest he sounds like a laugh."

**Leon's POV**

I was scouting when I saw three men on horseback approach the border of the camp, they seemed peaceful and I couldn't see the crest of the Pendragon's but I didn't trust that these weren't soldiers in disguise. However my instinct told me that these men were safe and from what I've learnt from the druids you should always trust your gut.

So I approached them. "Hello there!" The three men turned startled and I did actually recognise one of them. "Lancelot?" _What the hell was Lancelot doing here?_

"Sir Leon! Are you here with Arthur and Merlin?"

Before I could respond one of the other men with him cut across him. "Your friend is a _knight_? You told me he served under the king!" I noticed the venom in his voice when he said knights.

"Merlin isn't a knight. Leon on the other hand..." The other man scowled and I had to admire Lancelot for not flinching. "Anyway are they here?"

"Yes we are staying with the druids. With Merlin's mother and..." I hesitated: should I call Morgana Freya or her real name? After all I didn't know these two other men and last time I'd seen Lancelot he had forged papers... "and Freya, Merlin's sister."

Lancelot looked puzzled. "Merlin has a sister?"

Again I hesitated. "I think this would be better coming from Merlin."

Lancelot's mouth opened to respond but a sudden crash announced the entrance of four figures into our clearing. These figures being a rather bemused looking Arthur, an annoyed Morgana, a serene Ambrosia and a very clumsy Merlin. Merlin lay spread out on the floor after obviously falling over which explained the crash.

"Merlin will you ever learn to look where you're going?" Arthur asked exasperatedly. I really couldn't blame him because Merlin was just as clumsy as a female then as she was pretending to be male. Merlin hauling herself to her feet looked at Morgana and grinned sheepishly.

Lancelot seemed to have finally found his voice since their unexpected entrance. "Merlin your... you're a girl?!"

Merlin eyes found Lancelot and she did a double take obviously only just realising he was there. "Yeah always have been actually... Surprise!"

The bigger man with Lancelot looked amused and the other burst into laughter. "Well, Lancelot this does certainly sound like a tale!"

"Yes well." I was starting to feel that this situation needed to be moved on. "Do you think we should head back to the druids and discuss everything?"

Arthur however shook his head. "The druids have left."

"What? Why?"

"Something about 'our time with them was over' and 'that a new part of our journey was beginning'... and then something about meeting again one day 'when the time is right'... the usual vague druid stuff..."

Merlin snorted. "Never try and get a straight answer from a druid they'll just go on about destiny and fate until you're so bored you'll give up."

Morgana chuckled and looked affectionately at her half sister. "They probably do it on purpose to keep their air of mystery."

"Well why ever they bloody do it they've gone now."

"The druids have always been sensitive to times of great upheaval and I think that meeting up with Lancelot and his companions now certainly indicates the druids were right." This came from Ambrosia. I didn't know what to think about Ambrosia, she'd spent most of our time with the druids with their elders and I'd barely seen her.

"Lance aren't you going to introduce us to your friends?"

"The bigger man is my good friend Percival and this is Gwaine who we met and asked for directions." Lancelot was indicating the shorted man with wild brown hair.

"Well Percival and Gwaine I'm Arthur. This is my finest knight Sir Leon and the woman over there is the High Priestess Ambrosia and you've already met Merlin and the other is her sister Freya." Everybody either nodded or waved to our new companions. "Great well it's nearly dark so we should probably set up camp." I nodded my assent and we began searching for a suitable spot to set up camp.

**Gwaine's POV**

I have to say these lot seem like an odd bunch, I hadn't missed Arthur saying that the knight was his, this meant he was somebody important within Camelot. The fact that he was travelling around with a High Priestess of the Old Religion was for lack of a better word weird and Merlin who apparently lied about everything- from her magic to even her sex! Her sister seemed weird too, her manner was very commanding and she acted above her sister most of the time and even argued with Arthur the probable noble. In short the whole group was odd and i was beginning to think I was in over my head when Merlin came over to me from her side of the fire to sit with me on my log. "Hello, I'm Merlin."

"I know who you are pretty boy over there didn't stop talking about you all the way here. If I didn't know that he didn't know you were female I would say that he was in love with you."

She let out a soft twinkling chuckle and grinned as she replied. "Me and Lance are just friends. He's like a brother to me and I truly hope that he isn't upset about the whole actually being female thing."

"Why did you pretend to be female? Was it to avoid the lecherous lords of the court?"

Again her sweet laugh sounded. "Partly but more because it was easier to be overlooked as a boy and I hate wearing dresses."

"Seems as good a reason as any."

There was a small pause before Merlin muttered softly. "You must think us an odd bunch."

"I don't think odd covers it. I mean your sister acts like a noble woman and the whole knight and sorceress coexisting is unheard of."

"Well Mor-Freya was a noble woman before she was banished and hasn't really adjusted to the whole being a simple peasant thing yet. And as for us all coexisting it's easy when you've lost everything else to realise that some things don't matter."

I again noticed the slip but again chose to ignore it. "Your quite wise you know that Merlin?"

"Merlin? Wise? Wait until you get to know her Gwaine!" We both turned to see the probable-noble Arthur who was laughing heartily at Merlin's expense.

"At least I'm not a prat."

Arthur sat down on her other side and elbowed her in the ribs. "Merlin you need to think of a new insult. Prat is getting old."

"Fine you clot pole!"

"What on earth is a clot pole?"

"In two words? Prince Arthur."

I laughed at the two of them- there was clearly something between them- shame Merlin was rather beautiful. Suddenly I stopped. "..._Prince_?"

"Arthur stopped laughing and glared at Merlin, who looked slightly ashamed. "Well banished prince now I guess."

Shock is the only word to describe what I was feeling and my mind stopped processing for a while and then one thought popped into my head: _Prince Arthur of Camelot is in love with a sorceress! _I was right, this is an interesting tale.


	13. Chapter 13

**I don't own Merlin but I'm looking into it. Enjoy!**

**Percival's POV**

I knew it was her. As soon as I'd seen her I recognised her and now I was here in the forest under the pretence of looking for fire wood but really trying to avoid her and the torrent of memories seeing her again brought. She'd changed, aged, and yet seeing her brought back the memories I'd run away from for so many years, maybe it's time I faced them- faced her.

I wasn't surprised when I heard her soft voice. "You haven't aged a day Percival."

"I can't say the same for you." I turned to face her and contained the shiver that went up my spine.

"No." She replied abruptly scowling. "Both of our lives have changed much since we last met."

"Those were happier times."

"Yes they were. We were both so young, age has changed us both I see." She was looking sadly at me and I couldn't stand it.

"You were never very young."

"Comes with the position I'm afraid. She was the same."

"She was always acted as if she held the fate of the world upon her shoulders."

"In some ways she was. We all were. If her sister hadn't granted his wish none of us would be here today."

"Do not even mention them- they both betrayed us! We were their friends and they turned their backs on us."

"Obviously we weren't enough to stop them from becoming what they did."

"I fail to see how we could have done better." I growled at the dark haired beauty in front of me.

She shrugged. "Sometimes that's just how it is Percival. It was her fate to die as she did."

"That was never fate! To die with nothing! Knowing her sister and friend had betrayed her!" I was yelling now but I didn't care. I never had anyone who knew what had truly happened, she was the only one left from back then.

"She had you, Percival! Her love for you was so strong she gave you the greatest protection she could that cost her her life."

"Well I wish she hadn't. I am nothing without her!"

"Percival what happened happened for a reason! Giving up would be wasting the sacrifice she made for you!"

"Would you have protected him if you could like that? Let him live this half life without you- alone forever?"

"Yes." She replied fiercely. "I would've gladly give my life for Balinor's!"

"Ambrosia." I whispered mournfully. "Twenty years of living without the one you love is worse than death itself."

"Don't think you need to tell me that Percival!"

"You have Merlin and Freya!" At her startled expression I snorted. "A blind man could see they are clearly yours and Balinor's children."

"It's not the same. I love Merlin and Freya with all my heart but Balinor will always hold my heart even in death."

"But you have something you have a part of him with you. My beloved is gone, dead, and I am cursed to never join her."

"It's not a curse Percival but a gift."

"A gift that prevents me from reaching my heart's desire. I dream of death Ambrosia."

"Elowen would hate to hear you talking like that." Her soft hand fell upon my shoulder.

"Please... Please... Just don't say her name..." I stuttered- hearing her name after this many years pierced my heart.

"Percival..."

"No Ambrosia. Please leave me. I need to collect more fire wood." With that I left her and tried hopelessly to not let the tears overwhelm me but a few escaped my once firm walls and after that I crumpled into a heap on the floor tears streaming down my face.

**Arthur's POV**

I'd quickly escaped the conversation with the apparently noble hating Gwaine. He seemed nice and from what Lancelot told me is a good fighter but he's obviously got something against nobles from the dirty looks he keeps shooting me. Scrap what I said about him being nice. Merlin seems to get on well with him and I feel a twinge of something I have no desire to examine in my chest so instead I go over to where Morgana is attempting to cook. "I didn't know that you knew what cooking was Morgana."

She glared her signature glare at me. "Says the man whose never cut a piece of bread on his own and don't call me that!"

I glared right back at her. "Hey I'll have you know that I can skin and cook plenty of animals."

"Really? Then why is Merlin always having to do it?"

"She won't have to anymore."

"What because she's going to be your wife?" Morgana asked innocently and I tried for my pride's sake to stop the blush on my cheeks but knew I was fighting a losing battle.

"Stop your little match making mind _Freya,_ there is nothing between Merlin and I."

Morgana snorted and I worried something landed in the broth she was making. "Yes and absolutely positive that exactly nobody believes that apart from the pair of you. Just the other day Ambrosia was commenting on how wonderful Merlin would look in white..."

I think that I have a medical condition which causes my cheeks to be permanently red and from Morgana's grin I can tell she has no sympathy for my problem. Changing tack I smirked. "How about you and Leon? You seem to want to do nothing without eachother these days."

Morgana snorted again and I decided I'm definitely not eating anything she has cooked. "Now that's just friendship. Leon is more like an elder brother to me and any way he's too safe and cautious for me."

"You do need somebody to scheme with after all."

"Exactly and Leon's not the scheming type."

"That's true. It's why I call him loyal and you not."

"Hey I'm loyal to you!"

"For now but I never trust you not to plot behind my back." I smiled as I said so she knew not to take it seriously.

She pouted exaggeratedly. "Sibling love, eh? Counts for nothing nowadays!"

"Hey I can't help your scheming nature!"

"You've got it to!"

I pretended to be affronted. "I? How dare you insult my honour so!"

"What honour?" She suddenly went from teasing to serious. "Honourable or not treat Merlin properly Arthur."

"I told you there is nothing between us." I tried to dismiss her but she continued.

"Whatever just promise me you will treat her with the care she deserves!"

"I don't-"

But she cut across me. "Promise me Arthur!"

I gulped and saw the hopelessness my situation. "I promise never to hurt Merlin."

"Great!" She grinned. "I've been a good sister to her and now I'll have to be for you."

**"**What Morgana? What are you going to do?"

"Nothing bad Arthur stop worrying you'll get wrinkles! And stop calling me Morgana it's Freya." With that she stood and walked over to Merlin and Gwaine were still talking despite my many protests.

**Percival's POV**

When I got back to the camp I stood for a ,moment and observed the party. Balinor and Ambrosia's twins were whispering conspiratorially, Gwaine and Lancelot appeared to be swapping stories, Arthur was staring at some broth cautiously and Ambrosia was reading a book with the druid insignia on it. The whole group seemed so comfortable and I felt my separation from them life a stab in my stomach. I was unlike them-even Ambrosia- and I can never back the innocence that they have now, the bliss.

As I gazed at the camp I felt my senses tingling telling me of another presence also looking at the group. Our eyes met and my jaw fell as we looked at eachother. Balinor is _alive_.


	14. Chapter 14

**Ok this chapter had me stumped because I bwas kind of unsure how everybody would react but meh... this is the result. Thanks for the favorites, follows and reviews! Feel free to keep doing all three of those wonderful things!**

**Arthur's POV**

The noise that made me turn from the suspicious broth was a scream. Turning abruptly I saw the usually composed Ambrosia pointing a shaking finger at a figures who were cloaked in shadow. "You can't be here! Your dead!"

"Ambrosia?" This came from Merlin who had approached her mother cautiously.

The figure pushed past a few more branches and came into the clearing with a woman following. "I'm here, Ambrosia." He knew Ambrosia? He had found us,_ does that mean others can to?_

"You shouldn't be." Everybody turned startled to hear the low tones of Percival who also emerged from the woodland. Wait what? Percival knows this man as well?

"Percival?!" The mysterious man looked at Percival shocked. "It's been a long time old friend. There were rumours that you were dead also."

"I'm as good as. How could you leave her?!" He gestured wildly at Ambrosia and his usually calm, composed face was filled with anger. "How could you profess love for her and then abandon her in her time of need?" I unconsciously took a step away from Percival's rage. and what the hell did he mean be as good as dead?

Any thoughts along the lines that our lives couldn't get any more complicated flew out the window.

**Morgana's POV **

I watched the argument worriedly but my eyes immediately latched onto the woman as she stepped forward to defend her mysterious companion. "Maybe if you stopped yelling you big brute you would be able to listen to his explanation. If you truly know who this is then you should be showing him some respect!" I saw her brown eyes flash dangerously as she surveyed the rest of us in warning and as her eyes landed on me I stopped breathing for a second. I recognised those eyes. Full of hatred and hunger. **_MERLIN?! _**I projected into her brain desperately, so loudly that she flinched.

**_Morgana what is it? _**Her scared voice replied.

**_I recognise the woman from my dream..._**

**_Which one? Was she evil?_**

**_YES! _**I stressed exasperatedly. **_She was the one I saw fighting Ambrosia the night before we left Camelot._**

**_I thought there was something off about her but Morgana don't say anything yet. _**Her eyes focussed on the woman in question like she was some kind of puzzle. **_I want to know what we're dealing with. Best not reveal our identities though so when she's around don't perform magic!_**

**_Ok I think I can do that but what if I mess up and explode something when I get angry? _**This actually a genuine fear and I didn't bother to hide it from Merlin.

**_Morgana you have control now and even if that did happen we'll find some way to play it off as Ambrosia. _**With that she severed the link and turned back to the argument.

"You have no idea what I know Priestess. "

The woman recoiled at the title seemingly shocked that he knew her title and I couldn't help be as well. "So you are brighter than you appear, brute." I saw Lancelot tense at the renewal of this nickname. "Tell me. Have people ever wished to examine you? See how you are even still standing?"

Percival lunged at her angrily but the mysterious man came between. "We came here in peace, Morgause."

Ambrosia gasped at the name and suddenly rushed over to the blonde woman. "No it can't be. You can't be here." Her eyes were wide and desperate.

The blonde shrugged nonchalantly. "My name is Morgause, daughter of Myrddin and Ambrosia." _What?! She's my half sister? But she's EVIL!_ Ambrosia's eyes we're filled with tears and she grabbed her long daughter and pulled her onto a bone crushing hug.

"I feared you dead. I'd lost hope..." Tears we're now freely flowing down her face. "But your here. You came back to me." Maybe because I was looking for a sign or whether it was just obvious, I noticed that Morgause tensed under Ambrosia's embrace.

"Where have you been then, Balinor?" I gaped and stole a look at Merlin, whose mouth was slightly agape as she stared unseeing at Percival. I tried to reach out mentally but I felt her blocking me out.

"I thought you were dead Percival!" Merlin's father spat. "I could hardly have contacted you. And I never abandoned Ambrosia, I had a responsibility to my kin. My brothers were being slaughtered daily!"

"Yet you couldn't protect the woman who you loved! Couldn't return to her? For all your pretty words you care nothing for her!" Percival's eyes scared me, they were so dark and full of loathing.

"I couldn't find her without her magic! As soon as she returned I set out to find her!"

"Returned?! She was still the same person without her magic Balinor. You never did see the worth of those with magic!"

"Boys!" Ambrosia screamed. "This are old wounds! Old prejudices! With everything that has happened to us over the last twenty years are we still the immature, reckless, silly, conceited people we were then?!" She took a shuddering breath and I saw her tremble against Morgause who was supporting her. "I thought I had lost you all. My daughter, my lover, my friend... Is this really how we want to begin our second chance? Our redemption?"

"Redemption?" Percival snorted angrily. "Uthur is the only one capable of paying for those crimes and there is no way we are getting to him anytime soon. Look at us a weakened High Priestess, a half baked Priestess, an apparently dead dragon lord, a banished prince, a disgraced knight, a drunk, a cursed warrior, a heartbroken knight, Em-"

"And two simple druid girls." Merlin jumped in and everybody looked at her confused except the newcomers. "No it's not exactly an army Percival but I was unaware we we're trying to raise one." Her voice was firm and held so much authority that even Arthur looked submissive.

"I never spoke of war Merlin." Ambrosia kept her head held high. "I spoke of the crimes of the past."

Percival's eyes pierced through Ambrosia. "Some stains will never be removed Ambrosia." with that Percival swept out of the clearing.

Everybody was silent- the knights looked cautious, Morgause was unreadable, Balinor full of passion and Ambrosia looked as if the world was shifting underneath.

I looked towards my sister, my beautiful, mischievous, clumsy baby sister, to find her looking at the ground all hope drained from her face. I felt pains in my chest at seeing her like this, crushed, defeated and miserable. This was my little sister and nobody was going to hurt whilst I'm still alive and kicking. Breaking the stillness of the clearing I went over to where Merlin was slumped on a log and wrapped my arms around her pulling her against me. She didn't respond, I didn't need to know what had happened, all I needed to know is that she was in pain and I couldn't let that happen to my baby sister.

**Merlin's POV**

I'd been fine, _upset_ but basically fine until I'd felt Percival as he said his exiting words. They chilled me and I felt the weight in those words and then the memories came unbidden to my mind. At first happy scenes of friends together laughing, talking , pulling pranks... Then there was a beautiful girl with long flowing brown hair and amber eyes... There was kissing, marriage and all the stuff in between... _Happiness_. Then a memory clouded my vision with such force it forced me down to whatever I am now sitting on.

_The same beautiful woman stood by Percival in a clearing, worry plastered on her face and fear clouded her eyes. Percival was shouting indistinguishable words to her as he pulled out a sword from his belt... The woman looked at him with the same fear and shook her head... Their foe approached and I saw the younger, handsome face of Uthur lead a flock of red... "Why Uthur? We were all friends once! " Percival's voice trembled as spoke to the king who tilted his head... "It's not too late for you Percival... Come back to me as a loyal knight and renounce your witch wife..." "Percival..." Her voice was soft, pleading but still strong... "Never!" "Then you have doomed yourself!"... Flashes of a fight appeared as quickly as they evaporated... But then Uthur was stalking towards Percival sword raised against the unprotected knight... "NOOO!" The voice once so soft screamed and a golden flash streaked across the clearing and entered Percival... The woman crumpled to the floor and a nearby knight plunged his sword into her stomach... "NOOOOO! ELOWEN!" But despite his protests the woman lay still and Uthur Pendragon turned to Percival... "It's better this way. She would have only destroyed you in the end..." he turned to leave with the rest of his knights but glanced back at his former friend again. "Many have been taken in by sorceresses Percival and I forgive you for your sins against me and you may return to the Knights of Camelot if you wish." With that the King disappeared from the memory and only the vision of Elowen's body remained... Soft red lips... Heart shaped face... smudges of dirt on her cheeks... _

The vision ended and I felt strong arms around me and Morgana's scent. I welcomed her embrace and the misery of the scene dimmed under my thankfulness for having such a sister. But only for a moment and then I saw Elowen's face again and misery overwhelmed me. The pain was my own and I never wanted to feel like that again, as if my heart had been ripped from my chest.

**Might go for some more Balinor bashing courtesy of Ambrosia because I think he gt off far to easily here. Tell me what you think (yes that really is a shameless beg for reviews)!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok so this wasn't exactly prompt but I was having problems with Ambrosia's reaction and it took me about seven tries and I'm still not entirely sure. So yeah sorry about that but thank you for every favorite, follow and review and please continue! I don't own Merlin by the way.**

**Ambrosia's POV**

I stood there helpless as I watched my daughter (who wouldn't even claim me as a relation) crumble to pieces in my other angry daughters arms. I can't imagine what Merlin just saw and I don't think ever want to. I try to pull myself together but when I turn back to Balinor I feel myself floundering again.

He doesn't look the same but time has been kind to him and the last twenty years I've been without him have only made him better looking. His wild hair is down to his shoulders and his eyes now shine with wisdom but also have a harsh glint as evidence of all the Purge's effects on him. I love him. Simple as that but I still don't understand why he abandoned me like he did. He knew where I was and if he'd returned we might of been able to raise Merlin together and he could have taught her magic like I always wanted for us- to be a family.

Everybody was silent as I growled out. "So where were you?"

"Ambrosia..." The lilt in his voice is all I need to get angry.

"Don't 'Ambrosia...' me! Percival's right where have you been for the last twenty years?"

"Finding me." Morgause stepped forward in front of Balinor.

"What?" I stared at her, my mouth agape.

"Balinor knew how much you cared for me and my brother so he set out to fond us once his death had been faked and nobody would be looking for him. Unfortunately the secrets of the priestesses were well hidden and it took him almost twenty years so he could unite us again."

I looked at my blonde daughter and I felt tears fill my eyes and turning to Balinor threw my arms around him. "Thank you. This means more to me than anything."

His arms wrapped around my middle and I catch his familiar scent. "I love you, Ambrosia."

I don't hesitate to reply because I know that there can only be one true answer. "I love you too, Balinor."

**Gwaine's POV**

So I was having a casual conversation with Lance when all this drama happened and I'm still not entirely sure why I was surprised it happened in the first place. I mean I've known this odd group for barely half a day and yet they are perhaps the weirdest, suspicious, friendly, magical bunch that I've perhaps ever met and after all the weirdoes I've met and the amount of taverns I've been in that is an achievement. The drama is 24/7 with these guys and apparently silent stiff upper lip Percy is involved with them somehow as well which seems impossible since he doesn't look more than 30 but talks to them like they are childhood buddies. Merlin and Freya seem to be on the verge of insanity, Lance seems to be fighting himself and Arthur is just fidgeting awkwardly which is starting to get on my nerves.

I want something to do but the Dragonlord and High Priestess seem to have immobilised everybody even the priestess who looks like she's about to throw up (believe me I've seem that look on enough drunk's faces to recognise it). Wait- somebody's missing-_Leon_. Where the hell has he got to?

**Leon's POV**

"Are you alright?" I know the question is silly but nothing else seems to fit.

Percival rears his head and looks at me with pain filled eyes. "Have you ever loved somebody Sir Leon?"

"No. I hope I will one day if I ever get a chance to meet anyone now we're on the run." I tried to smile but it felt strained.

"When you do treasure it. You will never find a more beautiful jewel. Whatever you think is important never forget that without the one you love it'll all mean nothing. You'll be cold, alone and broken if you lose them. Empty."

Pity ran through me but I tried to keep my face blank- this man didn't need my pity. "What was her name?"

"...Elowen. She was so beautiful. Powerful but she was always helping and healing. She didn't even kill spiders." The last bit was said with a slight chuckle in his voice.

"Powerful?"

"She was a High Priestess."

"Wow." Seriously that must have been hard to deal with with Uthur calling for the blood of anybody with a drop of magic. "How did you keep up with that?"

Percival shrugged. "She didn't even tell me at first thought I'd be intimidated."

"Are you kidding? I would've been terrified she'd turn me into a toad if I slipped up!" An actual natural smile came to my lips then and I couldn't believe that a few months ago if I would've been terrified to talk about magic so casually. Or talk about it at all really.

"Elowen wasn't like that. She would just tell me off."

"Well I don't think I'm as brave as you and I'll stick to non-magical girls thank you very much!" I laughed casually.

Percival fixed his eyes on me and smiled wisely. "You can't help who you fall for Sir Leon."

I frowned. "Well magical or not, are you happy that you had time with Elowen despite losing her?"

There was no hesitation. "I would lose her a thousand times to have five more minutes with her."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Take that as a definitely."Percival smiled at me. "thank you Sir Leon."

"What for?"

"Talking to me about her. I've suffered for twenty years in silence and then when I do tell somebody they are serious and pitying. It was nice just to talk about her." He got up off the log he was sitting on and walked away back in the direction of camp.

I sat there for a moment absorbing Percival's words. He was a man of mystery no doubt about it but a good man none the less. I looked at the surroundings and realised I was sitting by the shore of a crystalline lake. I walked to the shore and scooped up some of the water into my hand and drank. It was pure and possibly the best water I've ever tasted. As much as I wanted to drink more I realised that I had better get back to camp before they worried about me but I made sure to remember that lake with the snowy mountains in the background.

**Arthur's POV**

Percival and Leon returned a while ago looking troubled but as Lancelot is talking to them now hopefully that will clear up soon. Balinor and Ambrosia seem to have evaporated (although Morgana made a comment about getting 'reacquainted') although I seriously don't want to think about Morgana and Merlin's mother... ugh! Gwaine muttered something about getting firewood but I think he's just trying to avoid having to talk to me and Merlin and Morgana are sitting by themselves.

Merlin seems distressed and all I want to do is hold her like Morgana is but when I went to go up to them Lancelot caught my eye and shook his head. They probably just need some time to bond- that's what normal sisters do isn't it? I only just found out that Morgana is my sister but that is kind of how we've always been so no need to bond, thank goodness. Merlin and Morgana never got that chance so I'll leave them to it.

However this means I've been left alone with Morgause, who (and not because she has magic!) feels a little off to me and by the way Morgana and Merlin reacted I take it they are not sure about her either.

"So Prince Arthur, the druid girl mentioned that you have no intention of trying to take back Camelot."

"Merlin." I try not to growl, honestly I tried!

"What?"

"Her name is Merlin not 'Druid girl'."

She fell silent for all of a minute then. "But was _Merlin_ telling the truth?"

I shrug. _Gods can't this woman tell I really don't want to talk about this?! _

"If you were to launch an attack please understand you would have my full support."

"I would never attack Camelot and risk hurting her people."

"Very honourable indeed Prince Arthur. However sometimes it is necessary."

"Indeed but this is not one of these times. As Ambrosia's daughter," And Morgana and Merlin's sister, I add privately. "I will not mention this discussion to anybody, we are all friends here trying to escape from war not start one. Please do not mention this again."

Morgause's face scrunched in anger but she tries t hide it by bowing her head respectfully. "Very well, sire. I shall respect your wishes."

"Thank you Morgause." Yep, definitely don't trust her.

**I'm not really sure what Morgause is planning really but I think it's going to be pretty evil... :p**


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for the silence but I have actually written quite a lot so that if I can update quicker even when I have writer's block (although I'm not promising ****_fast_**** updates)! Oh and as always thank you for everybody who has Favorited, followed, reviewed o even just read this story! **

**Mordred's POV**

_Brother,_

_I regret my silence however I have located Ambrosia. She is travelling with Prince Arthur and his motley crew. Nobody threatening- a bunch of hot headed knights and two pretty druid girls they probably use for sport- do not concern yourself with them. Ensure that Camelot is ready to accept her new monarch because I feel the time of the Once and future king is soon approaching._

_Be ready_

_Morgause_

Short and abrupt, this letter really reflects my sister, I scrunch it up in my hand and throw it into the fire. Morgause being in the company of the prince is good-she can keep track of his movements and keep him in check. I don't want the idiot to blunder in on my plan and destroy.

Turning away from the fire I survey my room and catch the figure of my beautiful wife tucked up under the bed sheets, so radiant as the morning sun sparkles on her dark skin. Like a predator stalking its prey, I approach the bed and observe her more closely.

Her hair is a tangle of brown curls that frame her heart shaped face and her eye lashes are fluttering as she slowly wakes up. A smile is on her face even in her sleep, content , tired and sated. I don't notice that her eyes have opened until I hear the soft chuckle. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Appreciating my beautiful wife." I'm entirely serious because that's what she is.

Grabbing a pillow from my side of the bed she hurls it at me and then snuggles back into her pillows. "Well your wife likes your appreciation."

"Well I certainly showed enough last night. Now you should probably get ready for the day?"

She lets out a very ladylike snort. "Are you kidding? After last night I'm spending the morning in bed."

"Aren't you having lunch with some of the other Ladies of the Court, Lady Guinevere?"

Another snort. "They hate me. I'm not a Lady!"

"You married me which makes you a Lady as much as them."

"Oh don't get me started on their opinions of our marriage."

I grimace. "As exciting as that sounds I need to get to practice."

"Urgh! Can't I come with you instead?"

"Not today, my lady, because you have a prior engagement." She groaned and pulled her head under the sheets but two can play at that game...

**Gwaine's POV**

So a week has passed and things are starting to get to something normal, as odd as that sounds when you're travelling with these lot. In the morning the Prince, me and the rest of the lads go hunting, the Dragonlord and the High Priestess are always away from camp, Morgause is always 'meditating' and the girls do what the prince likes to call bonding. I really don't what to know what that actually is because in my experience it usually means something like talking about emotions.

Then we all get together for lunch after which we all train together (with swords and magic) and I'm very surprised to find that Merlin isn't actually to bad considering how clumsy she naturally is and actually makes quite a good swordswoman. Morgause is scarily talented at both magic and with weapons and I try to avoid sparring with her if I can help it, although I actually avoid her normally anyway. then we eat dinner together and if I'm lucky we'll be near a village with a tavern. I am not lucky nearly as much as I would like and I am spending way too much time sober-it's not good for you.

But tonight is one of my lucky nights and that's how I find myself now packed in with Leon and Lancelot in the closest tavern. Fair to say I've drunk quite a lot even for me. "So Leon...a little birdie told me that-"_hiccup_"- that you have a little crush..."

"What?" Lancelot sputtered as he chortled- he's slightly pissed too-which actually makes him a lot looser. "What's this about Leon?"

"I have no idea as to what you are referring to, Gwaine." Ok he is way too sober so I fill up his tankard with more mead.

"You like somebody!"

"Do not."

"Do!"

"Do not!" He sounds angry... Great the booze must be working!

"Guys!" Lancelot slurs.

"Wha...? He's the one who's in luuuurve!"

"I am not!"He's glaring at me now. "Who the hell would I be in love with?"

I grin and pause for dramatic effect. "Morgause!"

"What?" Lancelot looks shocked. "But she's so scary!" Oh phew I'm not the only one who thinks that.

"I respect Morgause's skills that is all." Seriously this guy need more alcohol!

"Uh huh."

"I'm serious Gwaine. You must have drunk the whole tavern to believe such bull."

"Commeooon Leon, I've seen you drool over her in practice."

"I do not drool!"

"It's true Gwaine. Leon never drools."

"Thank you-"

"But I still agree with Gwaine you like her!" I grin at Lancelot or at least in his general direction since things we're starting to get a bit blurry.

"Look." Leon stands. "I'm going back to camp if you two are going to insist on talking rubbish." With that I think he stormed out.

"D'ya think he'll eva admit it?"

"No..." I hear Lancelot's chuckle but then I just feel a dull thud on the table and then darkness.

**Lancelot's POV**

Why on earth did I agree to go to tavern with Gwaine? My head is pounding like a stupid drum, my mouth's a badger's armpit and I can't concentrate so I keep getting disarmed. Nobody has any sympathy and just keeps saying 'well you did go to the tavern with Gwaine...', I had to lug him all the way back to camp yesterday because he passed out on the table and he is very heavy. Leon is not talking to either of us and I really want to apologise, it really isn't my business whether he likes Morgause or not and if feels uncomfortable with us talking about the possibility we definitely shouldn't have continued talking about it. A man should be allowed to keep his own secrets.

He isn't talking to Morgause either and if I didn't know any better I would say she was hurt by his frosty treatment of her. I can see what Leon might see in her: beauty, skill with a blade, magic... but there's a coolness there. By the way she's looking at Leon now, hurt, I'd say there's a very strong possibility of Leon being able to thaw her out a bit.

Morgause generally seems to seal herself away from the rest of us, we rarely see her between lunch and breakfast and during practice she is silent. I feel a stab of guilt that I haven't been trying to get to know her and have instead been avoiding her- thinking about it I've only ever seen Ambrosia, Leon and occasionally Balinor talk to her.

After practice I walk up to the Priestess in question. "Hello Morgause."

She frowns at me. "Hello."

"So I was wondering if you'd like to go on a walk with me?"

A thin eyebrow rises and she surveys me coolly. "Why?"

"Just to chat."

Her other eyebrow rises to join the other and I gulp. "Very well. A walk would be refreshing."

We walk in silence through the forest for a while and to my surprise it's more companionable than anything until she says. "Do you know what the matter with Leon is Lancelot? He was fine until he went to the tavern yesterday."

"Well he drank quite a lot maybe he's just hung over." I desperately try to keep my face passive.

"He isn't acting hung over. He's as alert and as skilled as ever."

"Alcohol effects people i different ways." I can see from the look on her face that she doesn't believe me.

"Lancelot why are you lying to me?"

I know that I've been rumbled. "Well maybe it was something Gwaine said yesterday..." Vagueness is my new best friend.

"What? Was it about me?"

"No." I try to smile at her. "Gwaine was just rambling and drunk..."

"So it was about me. Interesting..."

"No it wasn't." She smirks at me and yet again I know I've been rumbled. "Ok yes."

"Well what could've caused this?" Her brown eyes wide and a look somewhat resembling confusion lit them.

"Ask Leon himself. I've already said too much."

"Thank you for telling me this Lancelot. I think I will ask him."

With that she swept back to camp and I can't feeling pity for Leon who has to deal with her like this. I was so right-she's terrifying.

**Merlin's POV **

Practice is over and for the first time in a week I'm left alone with Percival. I've been avoiding him since I saw his memories and even though he doesn't know I still feel guilty for invading his thoughts. He's walking away from the clearing we were practising in and I find myself calling out his name. "Percival!"

He turns and looks at me quizzically. "Yes Merlin?"

"I have something to tell you." He stand waiting for me to continue and I feel nerves rush through me. "The day Balinor and Morgause arrived..." I trail off not knowing how to continue.

"Yes? What about that day?" His voice is abrupt and I tremble from his anger.

I take a deep breath. "When you left I had a wave of images flash through my mind." I see him tense. "I felt what you felt- the pain. the loss, the guilt... as if it were my own. I'm sorry."

His face is stony as he looks at me. "I don't want sympathy, thank you."

"Oh no I know. I am apologising for invading your thoughts in the first place. I didn't mean to it just happened and ever since I've been feeling guilty for invading your thoughts."

Percival looks at me. "If you truly did not mean to then I forgive you. Please do not feel anymore guilt on this matter." He turns to walk away and I know that through my confession I haven't helped him-it was selfish to try and make myself feel better. I let him go and feel a fresh wave of guilt wash over me and collapse to the ground emotionally and physically exhausted.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know is somebody is shaking me. "Merlin. Merlin!" Arthur's voice.

"Eh?" I say very intellectually.

"Not a good riser are you Merlin?"

"Have you ever tried to raise you in the morning? Believe me it's like trying to squeeze juice out of a parsnip, you giant parsnip head."

"Parsnip head?" He's chuckling but I haven't opened my eyes yet so I can't see him.

"Yep. Great big one."

"Speaking of food we have to get back to camp, dinner is ready." He moves away from me and I feel cold.

"Don't want to. too tired. Leave me here to sleep." I mumble as curl back into a ball and yawn.

"I can't leave you here alone." He says dismissively. "Anything could happen to you."

"Fine stay with me and protect me then you big, strong knight." I smile softly in my drowsy state, Arthur can always make me feel better.

To my surprise I feel him sit down next to me. "Fine just get some sleep Merlin." I'm about to reply but tiredness overtakes me and I fall asleep.

**I am not entirely sure where the Morgause/Leon thing is going because well something just told me that I needed to write it like that. Damn those plot bunnies! Oh and Merthur fluff! :D!**


	17. Chapter 17

**As always thank you for reading and what not this story. The fact that people still reading this shocks me beyond belief! Anyway enjoy!**

**Leon's POV**

I was sitting in my tent when Morgause burst in looking alarmingly frantic and she hasn't moved an inch in the last five minutes. "Morgause?"

"What did Gwaine say? If he insulted you or something I'll kill him!" She said coldly, her voice wavering slightly.

"Morgause what the hell are you talking about?"

"Last night in the tavern. Lancelot said it was something to do with me. Did he threaten you because your my friend?"

"What no. Gwaine's fine with magic. It wasn't like that. Look Morgause-" I broke off looking at her softening expression, it made her look even more beautiful. Gwaine is wrong, I don't love Morgause but I do feel attracted to her. Very attracted. She beautiful, skilled, intelligent and at times like this when she shows her softer side kind and passionate. "Gwaine and I had an argument because he was questioning my feelings for you."

"Feelings? As in romantic feelings?" Oh gods she looks shocked and... is that disgust? I nod slowly and she looks at me for a few moments but I cannot look her in the eye. "You love me in under a week?" She says doubtfully.

"No." Oh gods now she looks hurt. "But I am attracted to you Morgause. Gwaine was teasing me about it yesterday and I got angry."

"Your attracted to me?" She doesn't wait for a reply or at least doesn't allow me to because she walks up to me and presses her lips to mine. For an instant I feel her warmth and I am aware of everything around me especially her. Sparks pass between our fused lips and then all conscious thoughts leave me until she pulls away a few seconds later. The whole thing lasted for less than five seconds but it feels like longer and all I want to do now is re-forge that connection.

"Morgause." My voice is a hoarse whisper and I can feel her breath brush my lips.

"Yes?" Her voice is softer than I've ever heard it.

"Are you...? Are you attracted to me to?"

"Yes I am Leon. But can we keep this in between ourselves for the moment?"

"Yes if that's what you want." I kind of understand I mean I don't think either of us know where this development will lead.

She takes a step back from me so that I can see her face and thankfully she's smiling. "I'll see you at dinner Leon."

"Goodbye Morgause." I'm not in love but I think I'm in danger of being so soon.

**Morgana's POV**

Where the hell has that sister of mine got to? And Arthur? I mean when they didn't show up for dinner I thought maybe they were...moving forward in their relationship. Not that I thought that Arthur would deflower her but I thought maybe they had finally decided to actually acknowledge they both have feelings for eachother. I mean it's so obvious that even Balinor has noticed it!

But when neither of them had returned by morning I got worried. I mean really worried she's my little sister and if anything happens to her I'll never forgive myself for not protecting her. Ambrosia is scared as well even if she doesn't acknowledge it. I feel a stab of guilt, neither me or Merlin had claimed Ambrosia as our mother and had avoided her all week and if Merlin has been hurt or worse... I don't think she wants the last thing she ever said to her mother to be angry and bitter. But I can't think like that, I remind myself as I trek through the woods looking for my estranged siblings. They are both going to be fine!

By some sort of miracle I manage to find the clearing we used for training yesterday and lo and behold lying in the very centre are Merlin and Arthur curled up in each other's arms. Oh gods tell me they didn't...

**Arthur's POV**

"Arthur how could you!" Was my wakeup call and as I startled awake I realised that I was tucked in very closely to a woman and as my eyes adjust I see Merlin blearily stirring beside me. Our bodies are flush together and I can feel her steady heart beat against my chest. Oh gods this doesn't look good... "Arthur! Merlin!" The voice is yelling at me again and my tired brain recognises it as Morgana's.

"What?" I mumble vaguely coherently.

"Don't 'what?' me Arthur Pendragon! You slept with my sister!"

"What!?" No, no, no me and Merlin... How could she think I would do that? "Nothing happened?"

Morgana is now standing in front of me and Merlin with her hands on her hips. "Oh really? You go missing for the whole night driving me crazy with worry and I walk into a clearing to find the pair of you sleeping together bodies entwined close together! What the hell am I supposed to think?" To be fair she does have a point- I don't think there's a part of our body that isn't firmly pressed to the other.

Merlin raises a bit off the ground and looks at her sister blearily. "Morgana what are you yelling about? I was tired yesterday and Arthur couldn't get me to go back to camp. So to keep me safe he decided to stay with me. He must of just fallen asleep, perfectly innocent!"

"Merlin, what about this situation seems innocent?" Morgana is kind of scary when she's angry. "Cuddled up in the forest all on your own."

"Look Morgana." Merlin's voice is calm and serene. And slightly sexy... Gods no, I should not be thinking about how sexy Merlin is when Morgana is standing in front of us yelling. "nothing untoward happened. Arthur was the perfect gentleman and the position we awoke in is one we must have slipped into during the night." Morgana seems to calm at Merlin's words and I think I'll hire her just to deal with Morgana's temper.

"Fine, I'll believe this was innocent this time but if I find you like this again I swear..." She trailed off and left the threat hanging in the air between us.

"Don't worry this won't happen again." Merlin replies evenly but I hear her quietly whisper. "next time you won't find out." Oh shit, is Merlin as happy as I am with this situation? Is she as turned on as me?

Merlin untangles herself from my body and calmly places a hand on Morgana's shoulder which if you ask me is about as safe as poking a sleeping dragon in the eye. "Let's get back to camp to stop people from worrying any longer. Have you had breakfast yet?"

**Ambrosia's POV **

"Hello." _Why on earth am I nervous? This I my daughter not my executioner!_

"Ambrosia. What are you doing here? I assumed you would be spending time with Balinor?" Ok, I really need to spend more time with other people so that people can stop giving me that knowing smirk. I haven't seen the man for twenty years I think there's an excuse to spend a lot of time with him. And how easy do these people think I am? We haven't had sex yet despite their blatantly obvious expectations!

"I think I have the right to visit my own daughter."

Her usually calm and composed face fell and I saw anger for a second. "Never bothered to exercise that right for the first twenty two years of my life."

"Do you hate me Morgause?" Triple goddess if you're listening please make the answer negative.

"No." Wow, the power of prayer... "I am angry beyond belief. You abandoned me and Mordred. every moment I wished for you to come and take me away from the pain and suffering as the temples of the triple goddess were burnt to the ground and the priestesses and priests with them. I wanted you to save me but you never came. Elowen was dead, Nimueh was on the run and you'd abandoned us leaving the Old Religion leaderless. Everybody was terrified and with no leader we were fighting amongst ourselves as well as Uthur. I want to hate you but I can't. I don't know why with the amount of death I've seen from your weakness."

"Morgause." I try to touch her but she shifts away. Why is it that all of my children hate me? I abandoned Morgause and Mordred, I neglected Morgana and I lied to Merlin. They have every right to be angry but... no I don't deserve their forgiveness. I was an awful mother but now I have to make that right. "I am your mother that's why. As bad as I am and have been my blood runs through your veins. I can see your father in you- his strength- and I rejoice because I know that you will succeed where I failed. You and your siblings all have the strength and courage resurrect the Old religion and I believe you will." I hope she realises the plural because the guilt about not telling her about her sisters is killing me. I respect their wish to remain anonymous to her but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

She doesn't look as if she has though and I suppress a sigh. _Damn it I can't even betray my children well! _"I sense the time of the Once and future king is approaching."

"You have the gift of prophecy?" Not surprising really since both Morgana and I both have the gift but it's usually reserved to Seers and High Priestesses. Morgause is neither a Seer or a High Priestess so I have no idea how on earth she has the gift.

She half shrugs and I can see she doesn't understand it either. "Not really it's just sometimes I sense things... Arthur will be a great king."

"Yes he will. We are set to guide him, to help him realise the good of magic. I believe he already has to some degree."

"It is not us tasked with such a destiny. It is Emrys." There's an old look in her eyes and her posture stands tall and proud as if she's a soldier rallying behind her leader. That's what Morgause is though a soldier. _A child of the Purge_. She carries it's scars deeper than most and has never known anything different. This is my fault I know, Merlin lived in fear of the Purges effects but she never saw the first hand, never witnessed a friend being cut down before her eyes as I know Morgause has. I see it drawn in the lines of her face, if I had raised her the way I raised Merlin she'd have never had to experience that pain and I would known the woman beyond her years standing in front of me.

"Emrys will emerge, I know it Morgause. I've seen the golden age and it will be beautiful with the High King Arthur and Emrys leading it forward."

"I know Emrys will come." Her voice is certain and I can't help but be amazed by her blind faith. I know that Merlin is Emrys and have faith in my youngest daughter but Morgause has nobody to believe in only an image and yet still she remains strong in faith. Triple Goddess if you're listening I just want to say thank you for giving me such beautiful and strong children. "If you would excuse me Ambrosia but I would like to meditate now and find it easier without an audience." She turns her back to me and speaks to the tent canvas.

"Of course, thank you for being so honest with me Morgause." With that I leave but the urge to say words that I do not yet know how to express burn my tongue. The apology that I have no idea how to give.

**Thoughts?**


	18. Chapter 18

**This chapter exists because I thought it was really mean to portray Queen Ygraine as a tool for evil so voila!**

**Gaius' POV**

Life in Camelot is a mess. The King is completely static and inactive, the military is a mess after losing the first and second knight of Camelot, with Arthur gone the council are squabbling over who should take charge as regent and many rich lords have been sniffing around trying to take power. Not to mention Sir Mordred and Guinevere.

When he first came to Camelot I hoped he would be as kind as his parents but after observing him as I have I can see there's darkness to him and his marriage to Guinevere was far too fast for my liking. Gwen seems happy but the union still seems somewhat unholy to me. But without Merlin as my confidante and general dogsbody I'm not sure what to do. She was the one who would find solutions and then not-very-carefully use her magic to prevent any magical threat and without her I feel at sea. Not that Mordred has shown any sign of being magical and I pray he has taken after his father and can only wield a sword.

I have nobody left. Gwen has become more distant since her marriage which is to be expected and everybody else is away from Camelot with no hope of returning alive anytime soon. I wish I was not as old as I am, that I could still be useful, could still wield magic but alas here I am the old physician trapped in the walls of Camelot unable to help the ones closest to me.

Contemplating this I find myself wandering to the crypt below Camelot and my feet lead me to Ygraine's grave. I haven't been here for almost ten years but the tomb gleams in its white marble splendour as the day it was first crafted. Uthur chose the unusual stone because he felt it would glow like her pure white skin.

Something about that memory brings me to tears and I collapse onto my ancient knees with the weight of the last twenty years bearing down heavily on my shoulders. I never permitted myself to cry then and forced myself to remain stoic as endless lines of friends were burnt. I tried to help a few but I barely made a scratch at the masses of innocents who passed through the dungeons.

At the foot of Ygraine's I remember the brighter days when she was alive and the kingdom was the gem of the five kingdoms. Uthur and Ygraine ruling over the people with justice and mercy, Ambrosia with her flock of apprentices sweeping around the castle causing mischief, Myrddin leading the knights of Camelot valiantly and attempting to woo Ambrosia, Balinor flying into the court yard on a dragon just because he could and assisting Ambrosia in her mischief making, Percival trying desperately to balance being a knight, a lord and a husband to a High Priestess, Elowen herself would always play with the children from the lower town, Nimueh well nobody ever knew what she was going to do.

Then there was Alice... I loved her, still do. She was a Lord's daughter but had the gift of healing- both in magic and herb lore. She was unrivalled and often assisted me in my rounds. A beautiful kind smile on her face and a twinkling laugh ready on her lips. I've lost them all. I'm an old, useless man haunted by the memories of youth and happier times.

"Don't even think that." a soft voice calls out to me and my brain instantly makes a grab for that long forgotten voice. Still full of the grace and kindness it held twenty years ago.

"Ygraine?" The name is hoarse and unfamiliar to my tongue.

A blurry figure of Ygraine appears and though she is smiling I see tears collected in her blue eyes. "Yes Gaius. It's me. The Triple Goddess has allowed me to come back to you now."

"The Triple Goddess? Why would she care about me?" I can hear the self pity in my own voice.

"Hush, my friend. Quiet your doubts for they are wrong. The Triple Goddess has not forsaken you no matter what you believe." I go to interrupt her but she talks across me. "She has always been at your side Gaius giving you strength to get through the carnage left by my death."

"None of that was your fault Ygraine. You knew nothing of what was to pass."

"I know Gaius but that does not stop me from despairing that it ever needed to happen. That my husband could not see beyond the tragedy of my death to see the miracle of his son. But this is not the reason I've been sent Gaius. The strength that was given to you during the Purge comes with a price and now is the moment to pay."

"I will gladly pay my life. My life is over, my destiny to protect Merlin fulfilled."

"Old friend it is not your life she asks of you and your destiny is by no means fulfilled." Her voice is calm and soothing and I think about what a wonderful mother she would have been to Arthur if fate had not been so cruel.

"It isn't?"

"No old friend." She brings a sealed vial of water into her hand and indicates for me to take it. "When the time is right you must give this to Merlin. The fate of Albion depends upon it. The water within will provide the answer to her question."

"What question?" I ask accepting her gift.

"You shall know when the time is right." She jerks her head suddenly and saddens. "I am being called back. I must leave you, Gaius but before I do may I ask you one favour?"

"Of course old friend." A soft smile returned to her lips and she looked at me with care and gratitude. I owe it to her memory to do whatever my Queen asks of me.

"Tell Arthur I love him and that never regret giving up my life for his." With that the blurry figure faded and I was left alone at my dear friend's grave with her parting words hanging in the air and the small vial clutched in my hand.

**Gwaine's POV**

So when a hungry looking Merlin, a disgruntled Freya and a guilty looking Arthur returned to camp I'll admit that I was curious but it seems that none of them are going to say what's up or anything at all. Although for Merlin that may be because she seems to be inhaling her food at an alarming pace. Freya and Arthur remain stonily silent and won't look at eachother.

Finally Merlin stops eating for half a second to speak to the two of them. "Would you two cheer up already!"

"What?" Arthur clears his voice and desperately tries to look normal, resulting in him simply looking even shiftier.

"You two have been decidedly down beat since you returned. What happened Freya catch you and Merlin doing something you shouldn't in the forest?" I waggle my eyebrows suggestively trying to lighten the mood. Even though Lancelot gave a weak chuckle the other three looked stonier even Merlin. "What she didn't, did she?"

"M...Freya found Arthur and I and misinterpreted the situation. She thought we had had sex." What hell kind of situation would make her think that? _And frankly I'd be relieved if Arthur and Merlin did the deed and got rid of the sexual tension that practically radiates between them._

"Yes well now that we've not had sex can everybody shut up about it!" Arthur's slightly pink.

"Why would that be such a bad thing?" Everybody looked at me and I was slightly terrified by the look on Freya's face. "What? It would clear the air around here and what the hell you'd make a fine couple despite the constant squabbling."

Arthur stares at the floor as if he wants it to give him the answer to some sort of problem. His face was taut and resigned. "It would not be proper for us to marry. Merlin was a servant and is a sorceress and no matter what you think Gwaine I would never take Merlin's virtue and leave her. One day she will meet a man who can give her everything that I cannot and it would be wrong of me to give her false hope."

Merlin doesn't seem surprised by this and just mirrors the banished prince with a look of resignation and I can't help but want to hit something. This is bullshit! It doesn't matter who Merlin and Arthur they have every right to have sex and get married if that's what they want to do! She obviously just wants Arthur, anybody who has seen them together can see the attraction and care, what she should wait around until she might feel like this again someday?! And Camelot would be lucky to have Merlin as her Queen she's beautiful, funny, kind and also has saved all their asses loads of times judging by the stories she told me and Lancelot. But the stupid fact she's not a blue blood means that she can't be happy! Well just another reason on my rapidly growing list as to how much nobility is stupid!

**Yeah I know Gaius is a bit OOC but he can't always be the wise old man. They have doubts too!**


	19. Chapter 19

**This chapter is very set up so please be patient! Oh and thanks for reviews, likes and follows! And Merlin is kind of noble but more magically noble if that makes sense because her mother is a High Priestess and her father a dragonlord. Well that's how I see it anyway! Probably wrong, but hey ho my story my rules!**

**Merlin's POV **

"I'm going for a walk." We'd been sitting in silence for ten minutes and I don't think I can hold my poker face much longer. I can feel it crack as I speak.

"Do you want me to come with you so you don't get lost again?" Morgana looks at me with her eyes full of pity and face etched with concern. I love her but right now I just want to be alone.

"No thank you."

With that I escape without bothering to get anybody else's opinion. As soon as I've walked away from the clearing I break into a sprint and pump my arms and legs to their fullest extent running wildly through the woods.

Escape is all I need. I need to get away from everything and everybody. I need to hide something from everybody and the lies are beginning to smother me. Ever since I arrived in Camelot I feel like I haven't had a bloody choice about anything I do, trapped in a destiny I never asked for. I know I care for Arthur but it feels like I've never had a choice not to and that I've been forced since the beginning to develop feelings for him that can never be acknowledged or reciprocated. Why does the Triple Goddess torture her servants? Ambrosia was never allowed to raise her children properly and was divided from the man she loves for twenty years, Percival is cursed to spend eternity alone, Morgana's father would see her dead and hates her, Balinor never found out he had a daughter and his kin we're slaughtered before his eyes and Morgause well I have no idea but something's going to make her attack Ambrosia if Morgana's vision is right. We all bear the scars of war and it seems all we can do is create more for ourselves.

I reach the crest of a hill and I look down at the forest beneath me, anger and sadness flood me in equal measure and I scream. I have no idea how long I scream to the heavens but by the end my voice is hoarse and scratchy.

My neglected magic swells up inside of me and begs release. Desperate I throw my arms out and release my magic to do what it will. I have held it in far too long and the simple release makes me feel better. I close my eyes and feel the magical energy of my surroundings mix with my magic giving me strength and tranquillity.

I feel the raw energy of my magic pulse through my body and burst out in waves. There are no words to describe the relief and purity in this simple action. When I was a child I would escape into the woods near Ealdor and do this for hours, not only would it help me stop my magic releasing at odd moments but also gave me the same sense of peace as it does now. In these moments are the only times I can feel truly myself. I've had to lie about the real me all my life yet in these moments I have perfect clarity and confidence in what I am.

I am Merlin, also known as Emrys, I have incredibly strong magic (the best there is and ever will be apparently), I am incredibly clumsy, cannot wake up early to save my life and above everything else I am in love with Prince Arthur Pendragon. It doesn't matter, I now realise, that these feelings can never be acted upon it just matters that I have love in the first place and although I can never call him mine I can watch him become the great king I know he shall be. That's enough for me. Love will make me happier not bitter because I will not allow that to happen to me.

I open my eyes slowly and release a long breath. The grass around me has grown rapidly and is now a brighter shade of green, flowers are blooming in between the blades of every colour imaginable and the whole place seems to glow with the goodness of magic. This is what my magic can do and I wasn't even controlling it. I smile warmly and let put a small laugh the lightness of releasing my magic making me slightly dizzy. I love my magic and I would not give it up for anything, it's a part of me as much as my ebony hair and ivory skin, and I will never go so long without using it again.

_Ambrosia had to live without it for twenty years _the thought and the pity shoot through me before I can stop it. I don't want to feel sympathy for her but I find that I do. I didn't use my magic for a week and I almost went mad and she had to survive for twenty years whilst raising a baby who had impossibly strong magic from her first breaths. She still lied to me about who she was and hadn't bothered to defend herself about why she decided to hide her past and powers to me. But I think I now know that all she wanted to do was protect me and her from the pain of her past. Selfish and as angry as it made me I know she loves me and Morgana.

I don't forgive her but I think I understand her more now with that thought and I smile a little at the similarity between the three of us and even to a certain degree Morgause. We all keep secrets and we all try to protect the ones we love. And then there's the stubborn streak which definitely seems to be a family trait. I laugh at the thought and I remember Hunith telling me something when I was a child not much older than seven or eight. _"Women in our family are always strong willed, stubborn, fierce, protective, wise and compassionate. And have excellent bone structure..." _I remember my mother, her beauty and kindness and I know that one day I will forgive her but I don't think I'm ready yet.

Mother was right, I am strong willed, stubborn, fierce, protective, not so sure about wise and hopefully compassionate but I hope forgiving will soon join that list. I will forgive Ambrosia, I will protect Arthur, I will fight with the knights, I will love Morgana, I will reunite with Gaius (and forgive him as well), I will try to stop Morgause, I will help Percival move on and be happy and I will help Balinor reunite with the last of his kin as much as the bloody cryptic reptile pisses me off. _Yep definitely strong willed. _

**Leon's POV**

Ambrosia walked past me but didn't seem to notice me as I walked to Morgause's tent. "Morgause?"

The blonde in question stuck her head out of the tent with a very irritated look on her face. "Leon, don't you know I meditate at this time in the mornings?"

"Yes but I wanted to talk to you in private. Can I come in?"

She stepped aside and allowed me to enter the tent. "Fine but can we make this quick?"

I didn't answer and simply walked past her into her tent. "I saw Ambrosia leave, is everything ok with you two?"

"As fine as they ever will be." There's a bitter edge to her voice that I hate, I have this mad desire to see her truly happy.

"That's not an answer."

"Everything is fine Leon. Why are you here?" Her eyes flash dangerously in anger but I refuse to let it affect me.

"Why do you meditate?"

"What? Why is that relevant?" She waves her hands impatiently.

"Because I want to get to know you Morgause. So why?" I really do.

She pauses for a moment as if deliberating and then to my surprise reaches to the back of her dress and begins to unlace it. I can't move away my eyes even though I know that I shouldn't be looking but curiosity keeps my eyes transfixed on her. She pulls the back of her unlaced dress apart to expose her bare back and turns to let me see her smooth tanned back.

However instead of the smooth clean skin I expect across the expanse of her back there are deep cuts that are slowly beginning to heal but I can see they were quite recent. I can feel rage rise inside me as I reach out to trace one of the many scars with a light finger. She shivers slightly as I touch her skin but doesn't stop me and I continue tracing the scars. "What happened? Who did this to you?"

"I was whipped." Her tone was clipped and held the clear message she had no desire to speak of this anymore but I was never very good at accepting those kinds of warnings.

"Who by? Who did this to you?" My hand was shaking from barely suppressed rage.

"In the Old Religion you are put under a higher ranking member than you to work for. Mine whipped me to impress upon me the importance of obedience."

"How could anybody do this to you?" I growled. "How could anybody justify this as a teaching tool? How could anybody mar your beauty with such ugly scars?"

A cold laugh escaped her lips, bitter and yet resigned. "Pretty words Sir Knight but to me those mean nothing. Men say pretty words all the time and I won't allow myself to be lied to like that again to again."

"I mean every single word I say." I gently lean down and brush my lips on one of the scars, sending another shiver through her although I see a ghost of a smile flicker across her face. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You drive me insane and sometimes I wonder if you could be as heartless as you try to act but then you will do something that will remind me just how human you are and just how much pain you've been through and I find myself more enchanted by you." I half smiled. "And not in the magical way. When I saw you fight I was amazed by how swift and agile a fighter you are and since that moment I catch myself watching you and only seeing more things to wonder about you."

I see a single tear run down her cheek. "You're not a bad fighter yourself, Leon."

I spin her round so she is facing me and I cup her face in my hands. "I pour out my heart to you and that's all I get?" I ask her with a small smile playing on my lips.

The tears I never thought I'd see her shed are now running unacknowledged down her face but her voice is strong. "You shouldn't have these feelings for me Leon. You should forget them and pursue Freya or Merlin."

I chuckle a bit. "I think Arthur would run me through if I touched Merlin and Freya is like a sister to me." I turn serious again. "Why do you see yourself as so unworthy of being cared for?"

Her eyes fix on me and there's such doubt in them I feel pain through my own heart. "Because nobody has ever wanted to care for me." It's a soft whisper, so much so I barely hear it.

"I want to, Morgause, I want to get to know you and I want to care for you but you have to let me. Can you do that?" My voice is as soft as hers and the moment feels as delicate as glass, so breakable.

Keeping her eyes locked on mine she nods. "I can try... I want to try."

I can't help the grin that is plastered on my face as I gently press a kiss to her forehead. With that the connection was made and I stayed there for a few more moments than I intended wanting to feel the feel of Morgause's skin under my skin, her taste addictive.

When I draw back I notice her eyes flicker open and I know that I'm not the only one to feel the connection. "I shall leave you to your meditation now but would you mind if I came to see you tomorrow around the same time?"

She shakes her head mutely and stays quiet as I leave but then when I am outside I hear a soft voice inside voice inside my head. **_Please mean your pretty words Sir Knight..._**

**Hope you enjoyed that little bit of Leon/Morgause bonding! And Merlin has an identity crisis which with all the cross dressing and lying isn't really all that surprising... **


	20. Chapter 20

**Ok this is late but I was very sick! As pathetic as that sounds I'm sticking with it. Thank you to anybody who's still reading, reviewing, favouriting and following this story, keep 'em coming! IDOM**

**Mordred's POV**

I am sneaking through the underbelly of Camelot which is ridiculously easy considering the amount of guards we have stationed around this area. When I'm in charge I'm going to make sure that all the guards have an eye test to make sure they can actually see further than the end of their nose.

I'm going to see the Priest Alvarr, who is legendary within the Old Religion for being one of the few people who have managed to become a Priest of the Old Religion despite not being naturally born with magic. He is determined, ruthless, inspiring and powerful and therefore a valuable ally. Which is the only reason why I would risk leaving Camelot for such an incriminating meeting, I shall need brute force as well as espionage to take Camelot to take Camelot and brute force is Alvarr's speciality.

I find the Priest standing in a clearing not too far away from the cities' outer wall. "So the High Priest demands a meeting with me and therefore I come. But I cannot help but wonder why such a powerful entity would request a meeting with me."

"You do not waste time with meaningless pleasantries, Alvarr I am pleased to see."

"No. However I don't think it is a trait we share. I cannot think that you demanded my presence so near Camelot's walls to analyse my manners."

"Indeed I wish for you to join me in my coup of Camelot. I know you enjoy bloodshed as much as I. I'm sure we come to some sort of arrangement to suit us both."

"That may be so." He replies icily and I feel a shift n the power here. "However my High Priest has forbidden me from intervening."

"Your High Priest?" I spat angry. "Who is it that demands such loyalty?"

"Alator of the Catha." the lower Priests smirks in an infuriating way. "One of his seers foresaw this meeting and he took precautions. I swore to my High Priest that I would not betray his trust and ally myself with you. I came out of mere courtesy nothing more."

I scowl and feel the need to throttle this upstart Priest and I growl back at him. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

"I have every idea, Sir Mordred. Do not imagine yourself to be the only one with spies inside Camelot. However no matter how powerful you are you cannot force me to break a bond with my High Priest. There is nothing for you here, Mordred, neither me nor my men, who have all sworn the same oath as me, will fight under your banner."

"So that is it?" I sneer. "You would give up your ambition and riches for some old Catha who has spent the war hidden away somewhere safe instead of fighting on the front lines."

"Greed is your weakness, Sir Mordred. You will have a choice and in that moment the fate of Albion shall rest in your hands. You will either help forge or destroy Albion."

"I know my own destiny!" I spat at him violently and I feel my eyes burn golden in my anger.

"Do you, Sir Mordred?" He raises an eyebrow in an uncanny impression of the physician Gaius. "I shall leave you now. Please do not summon me again I would hate to refuse a High Priest twice."

With that he swept out of the clearing and I was left on my own fuming. How dare that underling question me?! I will show him and the weakling Alator what a real High Priest can do and then they will both regret not forming an alliance with me when they had the chance. When I sit upon the throne and they shall be forced to kneel before me. Then they shall regret.

**Gwen's POV**

I know when Mordred is angry-for one thing the furniture feels the full effects of it! I know he had a meeting with a friend of his last night and obviously they fell out. I know it's silly but maybe it's because his friend disapproves of me. Which is ridiculous but still the idea is niggling away in the back of my head.

"Mordred?" I reach out and start massaging his tense shoulders. "What's the matter?"

"It's nothing Gwen." His face is pensive and he looks angry. I hate to see him so defensive.

"Mordred I know it's something. I'm your wife please tell me."

He turns and I let my hands falls to his firm chest. "My friend and I had a disagreement about my safety in Camelot." He gently brushed his lips against mine and whispers. "But I told him nothing would ever make me leave my life in Camelot." He lips pressed against mine for a bit longer then. "Nothing can make me give up my life with you." His eyes are so full of passion that I relax. I know that he will always be there for me and I will never leave his side until the day I die. I meant my wedding vows and will never break those eternal bonds.

**Balinor's POV **

Ambrosia had said she needed to talk to Morgause so I decided to take a little walk around the surrounding woodland. The trees are tall and healthy but the forest seems dead. The magic has been drained from the land by Uthur Pendragon and nature is suffering for his crimes as well as the people.

I'm meditating upon this when my magic feels a pull. It feels like when my magic connects to Ambrosia's but it's not her signature-it's fresher, rawer and less elegant but I still feel a connection to it. I admit I'm curious as to who could possibly draw me to them so strongly and I concentrate on following the path of the magic.

It was leading me uphill and I feel their magic in the surroundings and it turns the green greener and the flowers bloom in the brightest of colours. Who could possibly do this with such raw, pure power never in my life I have felt even more than Ambrosia!

Finally at the crest of a hill I can see a figure. It's a young girl; she's beautiful and has an aura of magic surrounding her and the wind gently brushing her sweeping up her long dark with the wind. Then I notice her beautiful face and I recognise it- it's the druid girl, Merlin. I feel my mouth nearly touch the ground; this simple girl who I'd underestimated actually has the most powerful magic I've ever seen! Does Ambrosia know about her? And if she doesn't then I must tell her. She clearly hasn't used her powers recently otherwise I would've sensed it so it's entirely plausible that in her weakened state Ambrosia didn't sense her unused magic. 'Merlin' could be dangerous.

I'm about to turn to go back to camp to talk to Ambrosia when Merlin's (if that's even her real name) opens her usually blue eyes now swirling with gold. Her eyes dim and she stands ridged for a few moments but then a determined look comes to her face and her whole body relaxes.

With a tilt of the head she calls out clearly. "Who's there?"

I step forward unafraid. This mere waif of a girl may be powerful but I have the blood of dragons running through my veins and I am strong magically as well, I shall not be afraid by this child. "It is I, Balinor."

An odd expression fleets across her face. "The Dragonlord?"

"Do you know another Balinor?" I shot her quizzical eyebrow sarcastically. Not giving her a chance to reply I continued. "How long have you known Ambrosia?"

"Not very long." Her face darkened. I can't believe that such pure magic can be evil but by the look that is upon her face I can see she doesn't wish Ambrosia well.

"You do seem to care for her very much from your tone."

A sinister grin came upon her face and I tensed ready to fight if she dared threaten Ambrosia. "It's complicated."

"Try explaining." I growled and I notice her flinch at the noise.

"There is a lot of history between us." Her blue eyes find mine and glares at me evenly.

"But you said that you have only none her for a brief period."

A steely glint comes to her eye. "She knew my mother."

"Oh, do I know her?" She must have powerful magic to have had such a child, by the looks of her she is around 17 maybe 18, so she could be the child of an old friend of mine from the good days. Dark hair, blue eyes, strong magic… No it couldn't be. Nimueh's daughter. Bronwyn, if I remember rightly, they never did find her body...

She's here to kill Ambrosia! I won't let her and I will gladly give my life to stop her in her mission. My life is Ambrosia and I have lost too many people to lose her as well. With that in mind I shoot fire at the young girl. _I will not lose Ambrosia again. _

**Ambrosia's POV**

I felt a pain unimaginable stab through my heart; I can't help the scream that escapes my lips. I can feel somebody at my side and I know it's Morgana. But I can't see through the tears of pain that have entered my eyes. "Ambrosia? Are you alright?"

"They are hurting each other." As I say it I realise the words are true, two people I love are hurting each other and my magic can sense it. Morgana is here, Morgause is meditating, I have no idea where Mordred is but I know he's safe somehow. That leaves Balinor and Merlin. _No that's not possible! Why would they fight each other?_

"Who's hurting each other? It's not Merlin is it?" Her voice is laced with worry and I can imagine her beautiful face screwed up in concern.

I nod frantically. "Merlin and Balinor are hurting each other. We need to find them and stop them before it's too late."

Morgana grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly. "Is she alright?"

"At the moment however I'm not sure how long that will last. We need to find them!"

"Freya! Ambrosia! Are you alright? I heard screaming." It's Leon's voice and he sounds panicked.

"Merlin is in trouble Leon. We need to find her!"

Without another word the three of us start looking for Merlin and Balinor but I can't help the fear that either Merlin will kill her father or Balinor his daughter.

**Yep Balinor is attacking Merlin. Well see where that goes (if anywhere knowing me) in the next chapter which I will hopefully post faster than this one! :D**


	21. Chapter 21

**Right I felt guilty so I thought I'd post two chapters for being late with the first. This isn't my best, be warned 'cause I was kind of unsure how to write this with no medical knowledge. Again this is the excuse I'm sticking with even if it is slightly pathetic. Continue doing all the lovely stuff you've already done and thank you so much for all previous feedback and what not.**

**Cenred's POV**

"You're late." I curled my lip as the witch entered the clearing I've been waiting in for nearly half an hour.

"I apologise Cenred, my companions insisted on waylaying me." She inclines her head and her blonde hair falls as curtains to frame that beautiful face of hers.

"It was you who sought an alliance with me not the other way round and therefore I expect you to be prompt."

"Again I apologise Cenred however it could not be helped if I was to keep my companions from getting suspicious." She's scowling and I hide my smirk at her anger. It lights her face perfectly and turns her into a true beauty.

"Well it cannot be helped but next time..." I left the threat in the air between us and then continued. "What has your brother got to say for himself?"

"My brother says as he always says: half of Camelot if you help him take it from the hands of Uthur Pendragon and put the rightful king upon the throne." I know she grows tired of this constant treaty making however she never gives me what I want.

"Sounds fair enough however I still do not get the prize I really want, Morgause."

She glares at me and her form becomes rigid. "Cenred I am not up for sale in this bargain. My brother's terms are more than fair and I am not some piece of meat in a market to be sold to the highest bidder."

"Come Morgause surly you would want to rule as queen over the greatest kingdom in Albion. The witch Queen of Essetir." I smirk knowingly. "You'd be married to a very handsome king as well if I may say."

"I shall not marry you for the sake of a treaty Cenred."

"So you might give the thought some time if it were not part of a treaty between your brother and I." _Good, I seem to be making progress._

"Perhaps, however our possible union is not what's at question here. The treaty is." I like the sound of possible. I've been wanting to take Morgause as my queen and bed since I met her.

"Do you really think Arthur Pendragon will consent to this plan to dismantle his father and dissolve his kingdom?" I'm not worried about his happiness but I don't want him launching attacks at me every five minutes.

"Arthur Pendragon is currently enchanted by a druid girl and is putty in her hands. If I persuade that simpleton around to our way of thinking it will not be long before Arthur agrees."

"A druid girl, eh? A Pendragon in love with a druid?" The idea is inconceivable.

Morgause smirked. "I think if the girl's arrogant sister wasn't around they'd already be popping out babies."

Well that is an interesting development... Obviously Arthur Pendragon doesn't have the strength of Uthur or the resilience of a pretty face Uthur has. I wonder how a simple druid could catch a prince they all seem pretty plain modest creatures to me. Perhaps she is an oddity who actually looks something resembling handsome? But it is clear from Morgause's words that with this druid girl around there is no need to fear the prince's rage. O fools in love! "This is good a distracted lovesick Pendragon is better than an angry vengeful one"

"Indeed. So we have an agreement?" She is so blunt and unrefined.

"I think this can be beneficial for both of us Morgause." I held out my arm and she grasped it like a man would.

"Then an alliance has be formed. You would be wise not to break this oath Cenred."

I gesture for my men to bring forth my horse and as a way of parting I reply. "And you would be wise to consider my offer, Morgause."

With that I straddled my horse and left the Priestess alone in the clearing with the hope she will consent to make me a very happy man soon.

**Morgana's POV **

We heard the yells of spells and the flashes of fire and lights before we saw them and you can practically feel the magic reverberations. "Merlin!" I scream as fire streaks past her missing her narrowly.

"Morgana! Stay away! It's not-" But because she is screaming at me she loses concentration for a second and her body crashes against a rock with a sickening crunch.

"MERLIN!" I'm running towards her even though I know Balinor is still attacking."MERLIN! DON'T YOU DARE DIE!" I reach her and scoop her up onto my lap and clutch her to me and I try to find her pulse. It's there but faint. _Dangerously faint._

She's not moving. Merlin my beautiful, kind, generous, clumsy sister is in my lap unmoving and hardly breathing. She can't die. Not now, she still has a destiny this isn't her time! She can't die! She hasn't- She isn't- IT'S NOT HER TIME! She is not going to die.

But her pulse is growing fainter and fainter. Her eyes still remain closed and her body still. I look up to Ambrosia who is just standing there. "HELP ME!"

Ambrosia shakes her head, wide eyes full of tears. "I can't. I don't have the power." The words are hollow and I feel my heart break with them.

"No there must be something we can do!" I'm still screaming but it's like one of my nightmares and I can't stop screaming in those either.

"Only the Triple Goddess can wake Merlin now. Only she can decide Merlin's fate." Ambrosia walks closer to me to try and touch Merlin but I bring Merlin closer to my chest and shy away from her.

"Merlin will wake up. She has to!" Then I try and scoop up her body in my arms and carry her but I fall beneath the weight of my sister. The _dead_ weight of my sister. That's when I feel the tears fill my eyes and I'm not sure what happens next because the tears blur my vision but I feel Merlin's weight leave me and the murmur of Leon's voice and then somebody is helping me up and wrapping me in their arms. They're warm and I hear their soft whisperings in my ear but all I hear is one word. _Merlin._

**Arthur's POV**

Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival and I are the successful hunters as we walk into camp and pack away our equipment and store the fruits of our labour so that no animals start nibbling at them. "So Arthur... You and Merlin not going to be a thing?" Surprisingly it was Lancelot not Gwaine who spoke.

"No can everybody stop speaking of bit now! Do I have to put out a royal proclamation about the fact?"

"Can't really do that at the moment, can you princess?" I really hate that nick name. And Gwaine knows it.

I scowl in response and all three men chortle then Percival speaks which is rare. "I think you should do what you want not what's expected of you Arthur Pendragon."

Another weird thing about Percival, he has taken to saying our full names instead of just our forenames. Why? I have absolutely no idea. "It's not that simple Percival and anyway now is hardly the time when we're on the run."

"Then when princess? Come on I can't wait to attend the wedding!" I hit Gwaine hard in the arm in response which leads to him shoving me back. So I shove back and it ultimately ends in the two of us wrestling on the floor with Lancelot and Percival chuckling at our antics. I know something is wrong when they abruptly stop. Gwaine notices to and we both turn look up to see what has drawn their attention.

My insides freeze as I see the bundle in Leon's arms. Merlin. Broken and silent. I break away from Gwaine and rush over to Leon not bothering to look at anybody else. I don't know what miracle of strength is keeping me standing but I just keep focused on her elfin face now with horrid red blood marring the intricate lines. The eyes are closed and her chest barely rising but the fact I see a few shallow breaths keep my feet walking towards Leon.

Without a word passing between us he hands her limp body to me and I cradle her thin frame in my arms. She so thin she's almost breakable and I hold her as gently as I can like I held my father's crown as a child- like a treasure. "Merlin." Is the only word I can utter as I look at her paler than normal face.

Somebody is standing at my side but I only have eyes for Merlin, trying to remember every feature of her face because I now that I might never have the chance to do so whilst there is at least some colour in her cheeks. "How the hell did this happen?"

Silence for a moment then. "I did it." My head snaps up at the proud voice of Balinor who looks almost happy at what he's done to Merlin. I feel myself shake with rage. "She is powerfully magic and she wished to harm Ambrosia . I couldn't allow that to happen."

The clearing is silent again as everybody absorbs what Balinor just said but then I manage to growl out. "Merlin would never have harmed Ambrosia."

"I know you fancy yourself in love with her Pendragon however she was going to turn on Ambrosia."

"She would not have turned on her own mother!" I find the words have fallen out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"Impossible! Ambrosia only has two children." Balinor dismisses it easily as if it's not even an option and I curse the man who can act so brazenly after hurting his own daughter. His own beautiful, wonderful, kind daughter. The girl who'd I'd rejected mere hours ago.

"Yeah. Well it's true." It's Percival's voice this time that replies and I'm glad because mine has faded. "Ambrosia Le Fay's daughter with the Dragonlord Balinor Calidonius! Congratulations Balinor you manage to kill your own daughter."

"No." The confidence in his voice has wavered. "No. Ambrosia would have told me."

A hoarse voice I barely recognised as Ambrosia's whispered. "Not if she begged me not to."

"But-" Then there was a silence and I knew I couldn't stay in the presence of the man who attacked Merlin much longer so I walked towards her tent the girl in question still cradled in my arms.

I haven't been in here much (well it's hardly proper) but I now realise there is barely any Merlin in this tent- no clutter, no magic books and no random projects that may or may not be dangerous- but there was still her scent which was a mixture of woodland, magic, flowers and bread. The Merlin in my arms only smells of blood her delicate smell extinguished by the metallic smell of the vivid red liquid.

I rest her down on the bed and then I grasp her small hand in mine and sit beside her. I feel as if I'm somehow willing her to live. Willing her to smile at me and tease me for thinking too hard. I'm trying to will Merlin back into existence as she fades and as desperately as I try to remember the positive beautiful things about Merlin the blood burns into my mind and feel warm, unfamiliar tears fill my eyes.

Merlin shouldn't be like this. I've seen my share of injuries in my life on the battlefield and in Camelot but Merlin should not be like this. Merlin should be unfailingly happy, full of life and trying to lighten everybody else's day just like she used to do.

**Arthur OOC? **


	22. Chapter 22

**This is my longest chapter so far and I might have shed a tear writing at (although that might just be the bad writing!). So after the internet guilt tripped me into posting two chapters the other day I've run out of story and now have to get busy actually writing! Damn internet! Anyway enjoy and thanks for even just reading if you still are, which I've kind of just assumed haven't I? And now I'm rambling...**

**Morgana's POV**

"How could you not have told me?" I hear Balinor's voice wash over Ambrosia and I. There's an almost animal undertone to it and I shrink into Ambrosia's side at the raw power of his voice. His pain is obvious but he did this to himself. He hurt Merlin. "How could you not tell me I'd fathered a child?"

I feel rage build up inside of me. THIS BASTARD KILLED MY BABY SISTER! HER OWN GODDAMN FATHER! I DON'T CARE IF HE'S THE LAST BLOODY DRAGONLORD I'M GOING TO KILL THE BASTARD! NOBODY HURTS MY SISTER AND GET'S AWAY WITH IT! "Because you don't deserve somebody as fantastic as Merlin as a daughter." My voice is cold with fury in my voice.

There is a silence as if everybody is shocked by my words but I don't regret them because they are the truth. Men like Balinor and Uthur don't deserve children. _No don't think about Uthur! Think about Merlin and Balinor and his crimes! _"Freya that's a little harsh..." I never thought I'd see the day when Gwaine is trying to be diplomatic. Screw diplomacy! This bastard put my sister in a dead sleep and he deserves every single little thing I say.

**_Morgana... _**It's Ambrosia's voice and it doesn't surprise me.

**_He deserves it Ambrosia- he hurt Merlin! _**How can she defend him?

**_I know but he didn't know that she was his daughter _**But that doesn't make what he did acceptable!

**_That shouldn't matter. She was an innocent young girl and he just attacked her. _**Distantly I can hear everybody else talking around us. Raised voices.

**_He did think that she was going to hurt me. _**There's a strange fondness in her voice that makes my stomach turn.

**_That's still no excuse. Your powerful enough to defend yourself. And why are you defending him? He hurt your daughter! _**I can tell one of the voices is Balinor's because it sounds more like a growl but the other voices are beyond me.

**_Of course I'm angry that he hurt my baby. How could you even suggest that I would be fine with him putting my daughter in a long sleep? _**Good now she's angry as well.

**_And yet you defend him? Merlin mean so little to you that you care more about a man you haven't seen in twenty years over your own daughter? Well that explains why you abandoned the rest of your children. _**I'm bitter but I no longer care. This woman is saying that her lover's attack on her daughter was justified! I'm almost glad she abandoned me.

**_Morgana! I had no choice! I had to leave you in the hands of my sister while I went to Camelot to protect you. I never realised I would be locked up and unable to come back for you. _**She sounds desperate but I don't want excuses. Excuses don't erase twenty years of not knowing my birth mother and being left alone.

**_Are you sure that's the reason? Maybe it's because you don't love me because my father raped you. Maybe you didn't want me and now when it's a choice between Merlin and her father you defend your lover. You really hate your own children don't you. _**That's the first time I've acknowledged that I was conceived against my mother's will. It's odd and chilling to think that I was born out of anger and lust rather than love like Merlin. Perhaps that explains my more temperamental personality...

**_No I love you both! And Mordred and Morgause. I never had a choice. _**A flash of pain went through me as I remember a certain dark skinned friend's words.

**_There's always a choice, that's what Gwen always says. 'In life you always have a choice even if sometimes it's easier to think you don't'. You could have chosen to come and get me when the Purge began and Balinor broke you out of prison. But you didn't. You left me. Now you have the choice of your daughter's life and your lover's hurt feelings and you pick Balinor! _**Back to my sister. The sister who is currently as good as dead. The rage builds up inside of me again and I go to launch myself at Balinor. Or at least I would if my whole body wasn't ridged in Ambrosia's arms.

**_No I have no way of saving Merlin and there can be nothing to be gained by hurting Balinor even more than he already is. And what kind of life would you have had with me on the run? _**A real one?

**_At least I would have known my mother and met my sister. I wouldn't have had to live in fear for half my life under the threat that my father would likely chop my head off he knew what I was. And Balinor doesn't look nearly repentant and ashamed enough for me! _**It's true. From what I can see he just seems vaguely befuddled. Maybe a good slap will help him realise that he as good as killed his own daughter?

**_Morgana, Uthur would never have killed his own daughter. He loved you far too much. _**I doubt that's true.

**_But hates magic more. We both know it's true. He would have killed me without hesitation. I would have been safer with you and Merlin. _**Without the serial killer of a father.

**_I didn't know I was going to get pregnant with Merlin or that Balinor would leave me. How could I willingly take my child on a dangerous way? I had to leave you behind in safety with my sister. _**Until Vivienne and Gorlouis died and then I got sent to Uthur Pendragon. Vivienne and Gorlouis we're more than kind to me and treated me like their own (so much so I even believed it) but I still ended up with Uthur.

**_Safety ended with Uthur. Did he know I was his daughter? _**Did he lie to me as well? Or maybe for once he is innocent?

**_Yes I told him whilst imprisoned, hoping he would release me to be with our child however he refused. But he didn't order anything to be done with you. Even though you were a threat to Arthur's throne. That's why I don't think he would execute you Morgana, he knew who your mother was and that hit was highly likely you would have some magic yet he still took you in when my sister died. I think subconsciously he accepted you._**

**_Or he was just waiting for proof to kill me. _**I don't care what Ambrosia says he was waiting for any excuse. He probably held onto the slimmest hope he had that I wouldn't have the magic he feared I might. He never accepted me and even in the best circumstances wouldn't have changed his mind.

**_I don't believe that. _**

**_Yes well you don't believe Balinor should be punished for almost killing your own daughter so forgive me for not putting much faith in your beliefs or ideals. _**

I can tell she is about to respond however Balinor's voice breaks through the connection. "Is Freya my daughter also?"

I can't speak, how can I answer without bringing up questions about who actually is? Luckily Ambrosia breaks in before I can. "No Freya is not your daughter. She was conceived before we were together."

Anger and jealously are obvious in his face. "Then who is Freya's father? You never mentioned a previous relationship to me."

It's obvious he's hurt but I can feel Ambrosia is hurt by his words also. I blame her for so many things but I can't find it in me to blame her for Uthur's crime. As for him, let him suffer and die from a broken heart for all I care! He means nothing to me. "I cannot say." Is all that Ambrosia says but it's enough to get Balinor even angrier.

But his voice is cold with fury and quieter. "Just more secrets eh? Maybe I simply imagined the feelings I held for you for you are reciprocated Ambrosia. With love comes trust which is something you've obviously never bothered to extend to me." With that Balinor swept away and his anger left an ugly scar on our group and I felt Ambrosia's grip on me weaken. I vaguely hear Percival mutter something but I'm to bus trying to keep both myself and Ambrosia upright. We both need to stand strong for Merlin because she will wake up and when she does I want to help her take her sweet revenge on Balinor.

**Arthur's POV**

"You're stupid Merlin. Do you know that? For all your magic you still manage to trip over your own feet!" I imagine a rueful smile on her face and I continue. "When I first met you I thought 'who is this that dare defies a prince?' And yes I can practically see your eyes rolling! But be fair no one had ever spoken up to me like that even when I was being an even bigger 'prat'. You like calling me that a lot don't you? You complain all the time about me occasionally calling you an idiot but you're _always_ calling me either 'clotpole' or 'prat'. And do you find me moaning? Oh shut up Merlin." I know I sound mad talking to her like she can actually hear me but it's helping... like she's still here with me calling me a prat or quite possibly right now a crazy... something. Coming up with insults has never been my forte, Morgana on the other hand... "I don't moan as often as you and Morgana say I do! Honestly with all your happiness at finding out you have a sister you never bothered to think about how I'd feel about the pair of you uniting against me! It's not surprising that you're from the same family because you both share the talent of annoying me. When you wake up do you think we can come to some sort of truce? I'm surprised Morgana hasn't barged in yet and taken charge. But to be fair I did leave her and Ambrosia in a sticky situation with Balinor so it's hardly surprising. Oh and don't have a go at me for telling your secret I was mad and it was a accident! And I'm justified that man did this to you. If he wasn't your father I'd kill him where he stands. Don't worry I'm not going to. What kind of hot headed maniac do you take me for Merlin? You'd probably say something witty and at the same stupid here if you could. I wonder if you can hear and what you'd say if you could. I'm afraid Merlin it's hard to speak for you. Your too unpredictable it's one of the reason I...care about you. As stupid as a situation may seem there's still the possibility that you'll dive head in and start screaming spells. And you call me hot-headed. I think out of the pair of us I'm the one with the more level head. Stop eye rolling in my head Merlin. You have nice eyes. Big, blue and magical. You look better as a girl all over really... I mean longer hair and your female face not anything else! Stop looking smug Merlin! Honestly. What am I going to do with you, Merlin? Gwaine wants me to sleep with you, Ambrosia is already picking out your wedding gown and I think Morgana is up to her scheming ways and trying to get us together. Although I think she'd prefer me not to take your virginity in a clearing in the middle of the woods. I probably don't need to tell you any of this your probably shrugging and thinking that you already knew the rumours. I remember there were even some about you keeping the other side of my bed warm when you were disguised as a man! Although I have a strong suspicion Morgana just started those to torture/ embarrass me..,. Do you miss Camelot? I do and I wish every day I could go back but then I remember that I've been banished. I will never regret protecting and leaving with you Merlin. It was the right thing to do but that doesn't mean I don't miss Camelot. I miss the people as well especially Gaius and even my father. Stop scowling Merlin you'll get wrinkles before your time. I know my father is a horrible man and that he has killed many innocents, done terrible things and even attempted to kill you but that doesn't stop me from loving him. As stupid as all that sounds, my father is my father, and that's ne of the reasons I can't kill yours. You should have a chance to love and get to know your father despite his sins. I know, even if you won't admit it,, that you miss Gaius and I miss him too. He was a father to all of us. Well more of a favourite uncle. I regret not being able to talk to him too you know? We didn't even see him that last morning in Camelot. I know he and Morgana's maid will look out for eachother but I can't help but worry. " I laugh suddenly. "You know the morning Ambrosia returned I thought you and that maid had a thing! I was going to tease you about her because you always seemed so embarrassed when I talked about the fairer sex. I don't know how you managed to keep your secret for so long. I don't think I would have managed a few days even with an enchanted necklace. Don't make some stupid comment about your superior intelligence Merlin. I will have you know I have a great tactical mind! How do you think I led Camelot's knights? And Leon did not do all the real work Merlin before you say anything. You can't deny that I lead most, if not all, of the training sessions. And don't start moaning about how I spent most of those sessions beating you up." A guilty smile finds its way to my lips at the memories. "I'm sorry about all the beatings I gave you. But be honest Merlin you do bruise really easily which made it look a lot worse than it was and you know I'm right. I'm always right. Oh shut up Merlin!" I let go of her hand suddenly and both of my hands fly to her face, cupping her pale cheeks in them. "Merlin, you can't die, ok? You've suffered worse than this or don't you remember the morteus flower incident? I risked my life to get you that blasted flower and worse I risked my father's wrath."

I shiver as I remember my father's cold, hard face. There was no pity for the young 'man' who lay dying in Gaius' chambers or for Gaius who he called friend who had to watch his ward as the life slowly drained out of Merlin. _So don't look... _I remember those words and I can't help thinking about what would have happened if I had just turned away from Merlin; she would have died, Ambrosia wouldn't have her magic, Balinor wouldn't have returned, Morgana wouldn't have found out about her parentage and I wouldn't have left Camelot. It probably would've been better for my father if I had just let Merlin die but I don't think I could've borne seeing Merlin die then. I can't now.

I rub her smooth cheeks with my rough thumbs. "But it was worth it Merlin. It was worth all of that just to have you wander into my chambers grinning like an idiot a few days later. You were, still are, annoyingly cheerful in the mornings. But that smile could light the while room. You were always too good for Camelot- to pure, innocent and happy. Camelot didn't deserve your light within its walls." I'm caressing her soft face feeling every bit of pale smooth skin on her cheeks. I can't imagine how she'd look if she knew what I am doing but then again I don't think I'll ever have the courage to touch her like this when she'd conscious. "I don't understand why you stayed. You and the druids mentioned Emrys but I have no idea what that means. Why did you stay with me when I was so horrible to you? Why did you stay in Camelot? I know it has something to do with your druid name and destiny but I just can't understand what would make you put yourself in so much danger!" I can feel tears heat my face as I stare down at her closed eye lids willing them to open and for her to come back to me. "I need you Merlin. You can't leave me... Not now... Not ever! Understand?!" I fall onto her frail body and feel the small rise and fall of her chest. It's not enough, my words aren't enough but feeling this small sign of life in the otherwise lifeless girl gives me hope. There's something I haven't said, something that as yet I do not even know, but for the moment feeling her breathing and her life as I cry into her stomach feels like my limit. The words are lost to the sky but I feel their unspoken presence here as sobs rack through my body.

**Is the Arthur bit to heavy? Grieved or just mildly ****perturbed by Merlin's coma? **


End file.
